Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Vampire Doctor

[Originally posted at Ana Mardoll's Ramblings.]

"Oh my God! You're a vampire!"
"Yes, yes. I'm a vampire. Now open your mouth and say 'Ahh'"
"Are you going to kill me?"
"Now why on earth would I do that? Let's have a look in your ears."
"So you can suck my blood."
Completely ignores that, "Right ear looks fine, let's see the other one," Checks. "That one's good too." He holds the stethoscope near some warm piece of equipment, I'm thinking a computer, to warm it up because he has no warmth in his breath. "Ok, now take a deep breath." Pause. "Why are you holding your breath?"
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die."
"The physical isn't over yet, but so far you don't look like you're going to die any time soon."
"You're going to kill me for my blood."
"Ok, seriously calm down, take a deep breath, and hold it for a three count. I need to get a listen and this is taking way to long. The only way I'm going to kill you is if you keep wasting my time."
"You don't want my blood?"
"I work in a hospital. I have access blood in all flavors, no murder necessary. Now take a deep breath."


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