Sunday, December 2, 2012

Snarky Twilight: Who knows?

[Originally posted at Ana Mardoll's Ramblings.]

Edward: And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?
Bella: Of course.
*Edward facepalms*
Edward: You were supposed to- this whole confrontation is supposed to be based on- For the love of God Bella! Did you at least make it so Jessica is unaware we're together?
Bella: Now why would I do a thing like-
Edward: We're characters in a story, we have to do what the story says, you're supposed to make it so no one knows we're together then I get all-
Bella: We don't have to do anything, start taking responsibility for your own actions.
Edward: How many people know?
Bella: I told various people on 18 different continents spread across six different worlds that you and I would be together. I also told them that if they didn't hear from me afterward they should come looking for you, and advised using a combination of weapons with high penetration, like the type you'd use to hit a graboid through 20 feet of dirt, and flame throwers since vampire innards are so very combustible.
Edward: You told them how to kill me?
Bella: I don't actually think you can kill me, but if you do I will not go unavenged.
Edward: You're supposed to be more concerned about minor inconveniences to me than your own life.
Bella: Not gonna happen.
Bella: Besides, if you lack self control to such a degree that you'd kill the narrator of the story you're in then you're a danger that needs to be dealt with.


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1 comment:

  1. A big yay for over-the-top character rebellion! Seriously, the eighteen continents really made my day.