Thursday, February 9, 2017

My computer died (in story form)

Short version:

As noted two days ago I knew it was having problems and I would have to take it in eventually, things got a lot worse.  Now even more so.  (And in a completely different way.)  It's clearly decided to force the issue of repairs.

If it paid attention it would know that I won't be able to bring it in until Sunday at the earliest so there's no point in kaputing itself now.  It should have waited.  This time it isn't bouncing back, it's entirely out of commission and I'm using someone else's computer to type this.


The long version: Since I now have a patreon account I figured I should put a notice there and when you make a text post it actually says, "Tell a story." so this is what I wrote (yesterday if it matters, I waited till today to say it here because I wanted to see if the computer had another bounce back left in it):


It says to tell a story, so here is one:

Once upon a time there was a girl named chris the cynic and she had a computer that was surprisingly decent considering her means.  It had a good warranty but chris did not like to bring it in to be repaired because, even when things went perfectly, repairs would take at least two weeks.

Thus she tried to ignore minor faults with her computer while planning to have it repaired "at some point" and went on doing that, more or less, till yesterday.

At that point the computer lost its ability to draw power, and thus had only a partial charge remaining before it was but a paperweight.  Lowercase chris raced against time to create copies of the hopes and dreams that were stored within the strange an powerful black box in hopes that she would not be without them for the time of restoration and could avoid paying an $80 (or was it $100?) data backup fee at the Buy called "Best" before the Squad of the Geeks attempted to repair box that stored the hopes and dreams.

Dreams and hopes, however, were mixed with narratives of a different sort and chris was never good at keeping things neatly sorted so the tiny text file of hope might be mixed in with the giant program of ludologic significance in which one raced through the clouds from platform to platform in a perspective of primacy.

And so while the platformer of the person who is first might not need to be backed up, it was easier to just tell the strange and powerful black box of computing to copy everything including the profanity inducing entity known as "Cloudbuilt".

Thus it came to pass that even after the computer of chris had regained its ability to draw power, it was still not done copying the hopes and the dreams to a place where they would be safe.

And then, just today, the strange and powerful black box, whose binary rituals trace their roots to African sand divination, decided that it would sleep forevermore before the transmission of hopes, dreams, and ludatorial entities had been completed.

So now chris has a box that will, at most, give the appearance of waking up, without ever actually waking.  It refuses to even allow chris to access the deep and esoteric magic of the bios, though the box may have been imbued with a more modern magic known as "uefi", but chris does not know because she cannot access any of the magic the box is meant to use.

She will not be able to bring the computer to the Squad of the Geeks at the Buy which is Best until the week that is next has begun.

Therefore the girl known as chris the cynic fears that she will not produce content to share with those who are to her as Maecenas was to Vergil and Horace.


tl;dr: My computer is broken, this could mean that content, already slow in coming, is even more sparse.

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