Thursday, October 11, 2012

Does this happen to you?

So, I just saw my psychologist (this is a good thing, for those who are wondering), and one of the last things I said, with complete sincerity by the way, was this:

"I feel bad for her too, but she's also a jerk."
*psychologist laughs* (good laugh, not a mean one)
"I love her with all my heart; I want all the best for her... but she's a jerk."

I wonder how common that experience is.

Are there a lot of other people who really care about someone who happens to be a jerk?  If so, have any of you found a way to make the experience easier on yourself.

Because I find that having a jerk you really care about is rather difficult, especially emotionally.


  1. There are quite a few people I have cared very deeply about who also happen to be jerks. A very close friend (and former college roomate) is one of my very favorite people, with the extreme caveat that at certain times, he is intolerable. In this particular case, I've learned to live with it, mostly. But knowing that he is a jerk doesn't help when his occasional jerkiness comes out to fight. At that point, it just plain sucks.

    And yet, he's still one of my "he'd bail me out of jail and I'd help him hide the body" kind of friends. Funny how that works...

  2. If you find out how to make such a relationship work, let me know.

    In the meantime, I'm glad you're getting some help. Good luck.

  3. I'm often the jerk, so I guess I hope it does?

  4. Been there.

    I lost all the contacts with that person long ago. I hope he's alive and well, but I don't even want to find out, lest I find myself back in those quicksands. I want him to be happy, if it's possible. I want *me* to be happy, too. So I'd rather not have him back in my life.
    (No, it wasn't a "romantic" relationship, thank Ceiling Cat.)

    Right now there aren't any dearly beloved jerks in my life - well, beside catzilla, who doesn't count for obvious reasons.