Sunday, October 14, 2012

Apparently none of you exist and none of this ever happened

I look at the stats to this blog rather obsessively because, aside from the comments (which I also look at obsessively) they're they only way I know anyone ever sees anything that I say.  I don't know that they read it, but I know that they at least viewed the page, even if only for a moment.

So imagine my surprise when I looked at the stats and discovered that this blog has never been viewed, not even once, before 50 minutes ago.  And viewed only six times since then for a grand total of seven views.  What with me having published 466 posts, you'd think I'd have more views than that.  I mean that averages to zero point zero one five views a post, or one pageview every 66 posts on average.

So either none of you were ever real, or Google has committed yet another fuckup in their seemingly unending stream of fuckups.


  1. I read your blog via an RSS reader. I don't know whether or not Google counts that.

  2. I hope Google fucked up, or I'm going to have to have an existential crisis. I don't want to have an existential crisis.

    1. I don't want to have an existential crisis.

      No need for that. You exist again. Google says so.

  3. I'm pretty sure I'm real.

    Pretty sure.

    I hope.

  4. I already know that I am a figment of my girlfriend's imagination.

  5. Ymfon: *waves back*