So some of my problems are things that really reek of privilege. Even the big things like the increasingly likely possibility that I'll lose my house, can only be understood when one takes into account that I currently live here paying no expenses whatsoever and I have not one but two places I can move into (my sister's place and my father's place, neither of these is remotely optimal, but the options exist.) That's privilege.
But that pales in comparison to the privilege inherent in a problem like, "I've never been to Greece and am unlikely to go in the near future." To even consider that as a problem one has to have a pretty sizable distance from the real problems of life.
And yet, in May a Harvard outpost type thing is sending one of my teachers to Greece as the leader of a trip. The trip is being offered at cost, 4,000 dollars give or take (plus airfare both ways) depending on the fluctuations of the relative values of the Euro and the American dollar. The money doesn't need to be had until May, but a (relatively) small down payment is required on the 20th of this month and so if I can't figure out a way to come up with $4,000 by May in the next eight days then there's no reason to make the down payment which means I can't go. I consider this a problem.
Now at this point, if I were a reasonable person, I'd be thinking about the fact that even if I can somehow come up with a way to get the $4,000 that money would be better spent on trying to keep me in my house, and if I can't (which seems more likely) there's no point in worrying about it.
But the thing is, if this is to be the year when it all goes wrong and everything comes crashing down and I lose my house... I'd kind of like to go to Greece. And if it isn't, if I somehow manage to make things work, I'd still like to go to Greece.
No matter how right things might go in the next few months, the only way I could be sure I'll have the money then by the 20th of this month is if I get someone to promise to loan or give it to me. I don't know the odds of that, I figure they're pretty low, and it probably isn't a good idea. Even if it did happen, that would just mean more indebtedness to my family. They may have long since given up on the hope of me ever paying them back, but I haven't.
It also could mean bringing some pretty bad conflict down upon myself if I ask. The last thing anyone wants to think about right now is more costs. But I really want to go to Greece, and in the middle of a year that looks like it's going to be a pretty dark time for me, I could use some light.
Expect me to be using excessive profanity in about 8 days or so when any chance of going fails to come to pass. Actually, said profanity might only be spoken, in which case it wouldn't show up on the blog.