Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a vampire...

[Originally posted at Slacktivist (page 2).]
[Inspired by an ad from candidate for the Republican nomination for president named Rick Perry.]

I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a vampire, but you don't have to sparkle in the sunlight to know that there's something wrong with this country when werewolves can live openly on their reservation* but I can't be painfully hostile to a depressed girl without someone making a deconstruction of it.

As overlord I will make sure everyone knows I'm better than them. And I'll fight against liberal attacks on misogyny and racism.

Blood sucking parasitism made this country strong. It can make America strong again.

I'm Edward Cullen, and I approve this message.


* Note that they don't openly serve in the military, but I bet the military would love to have them.



  1. Beautiful. I'm not ashamed to admit I've voted for Republicans, but you don't have to agree with Rick Perry's message to recognize his good choice of words. :)

    Hm, werewolves in the military... I'm sure they would love them. Of course, in the one werewolf story I'm sort of writing, most of them prefer to fight against the government.

  2. Blood sucking parasitism is an essential part of the American Way!

  3. I don't often read all the comments at the new Slacktivist - I missed this one. It is incredibly fantastic and makes me feel all warm inside.

    On the subject of werewolves in the military, I was reflecting earlier today on how superpowers always seem to be used for crime-fighting. In the whole of the Marvel of DC universes, do we ever run into someone who got superspeed from cosmic radiation and has decided to use it to become an incredibly productive farmer or a one-person free medical clinic or something? If Edward is so torn up over his past evils, why isn't he doing anything to make life better for all the many people he hasn't murdered (yet)?

    Even with no further expansion, there's at least a short story there, possibly a novella.