Friday, September 30, 2011

Twilight Index

This is an index of works relating to the book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer or The Twilight Saga, of which the book is a part.

Team Slogans - You know, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team Leah, Team Bella, so on.
Various Teams - Fewer Twilight characters, more gods, more Left Behind characters.  Different slogans for the Twilight characters that are included.

Twilight: My Touchstone - A guest post I did for Ana Mardoll's Ramblings.  A way to keep centered and remember what the story is like when you risk getting lost in the weeds of analysis.

The Van Scene:
Paraphrase - A straightforward description of what the van scene is like in Twilight.
Edith and Ben - Genderfliped Twilight, the first appearance of Edith and Ben
Another version - Pretty straightforward, hiding under the truck instead of the official version
Snarky Twilight - The first ever thing of Snarky Twilight
Physics based rewrite -In which, through a series of non sequiturs, I disrespect and misrepresent as many laws of physics and narrative construction as I can manage. There is also a follow up.

Ongoing Stories:
Edith and Ben - The story of Edith Cullen and Ben Swan.
Snarky Twilight - The story of Twilight told almost entirely in dialog delivered with a certain degree of snark.

Extremely short one off things:
Badly chosen names - In which the Cullens fail the masquerade forever.
Bella finds love - One possible reason why Edward never mentions lesbians' feelings for Bella.
Bella's mother is not like a lobster - Bella's mother?  She's not like a lobster.
Bella's True Name - In Twilight Bella is shocked -SHOCKED- that Edward knows she's called 'Bella,' this is a modest rewrite of that scene.
Does this power work on me? - One theory on process by which it is decided whether Bella's mental shield blocks a given power.
Eyecolor - The Twilight vampires have not made use of colored contact lenses, commercially available for decades now, to hide their unnatural eyes.
Explanation for using a truck as an umbrella - Sometimes you're called to account for your silly actions, and thus need to explain them.  As is the case with Alice here.
The height of weapons technology - Um... yeah.
I'm Not Ashamed To Admit I'm A Vampire - A campaign message from Edward Cullen.
"I may not be a human, but I am a man" - The line is straight from Twilight, the meaning is hard to pin down.  Here are some possible elaborations.
A Jasper did it - Jasper has the ability to manipulate emotions, many of the emotions in Twilight don't make sense. We blame everything on Jasper as a result. In this instance, Edward is being blamed on Jasper.
John Galt Sparkles - On the general ability of sparkle vampires to comfortably endure the collapse of civilization.
Mental and Physical Powers - What exactly qualifies as a mental power? There's so little context that one could argue it ought to be labeled as being an original work.
The Van Scene, if Alice used her power - What it sounds like.
Why don't you eat people? - In which Edward thinks the answer is self evident and Bella doesn't get it.

Longer one off things:
The Adjustment Vampire - It's kind of hard to explain.
Alice and the moment between the darkness and the light - Imagine Twilight if a Cullen took an active interest in keeping Bella alive during the time Edward was the primary threat.
An Angry Person with a mental shield giving a speech to the opposing army - This is why you should, under no circumstances, mess with a person with a mental shield.
Bella getting married to who she wants while Charlie negotiates the dowry - The quote that inspired this was "We've reached full-on patriarchy: Edward was clearly worried that Bella would marry Mike simply because her dad told her to. And supplied some sheep as a dowry."  I figure while Charlie's negotiating how many "some" entails Bella's off getting the hell out of town.
Bella's response to human collateral - Someone thought that people getting hurt because of Bella's relations with vampires might make her less self absorbed, I thought she'd react like this.  This one led into...
Avenging Jessica - Jessica is the one doing the avenging, as for why avenging needed to be done, see the above link.
Breakdown Update - Most of this post is about how things were going for me after having a breakdown, the massive first footnote was about comparing Edward Cullen to jerks from Greek and Roman mythology.
Counterfactual in which Bella has a male friend - Exactly what it sounds like.
Left Behind with Edward and Bella - Edward and Bella discuss Bruce Barnes and the future of Chicago
Mind Seeing and Purple Thoughts - What it's like to see your thoughts,
My eyes have always been yellow - And we've always been at war with Eastasia. Gaslighting and vampire eyes.
Nobody is this incompetent; They're doing it on purpose - A possible explanation for why the Cullens are so very, very bad at blending.
Prattle - What Jessica is saying when Bella isn't listening.  Sure, you probably think that this isn't what she's saying, but do you know?  Of course not.  Bella doesn't pay enough attention for you to know.
Random Bits of Twilight - Vampiric dazzle power, the possibility Edward is an angel, the possibility Edward is a butterfly.
Random Pile of Twilight - If you'd have to kill me then don't tell me, It's ok to just spend time with friends, The Second Coming, and more.  As I said, random.
She Said She Wasn't Hungry - Jessica stands up for Bella when Edward pushes her around in Port Angeles.
Some Responses to Edward in Chapter 9 - Things Bella might reasonably say in response to what canon-Edward did say.
Superpowers, Diagnosis, and Treatment - The ability to manipulate emotions as used for medical purposes.
Twilight with an expanded non-human population, some thoughts - Collecting some things I've said on the idea that everyone in Twilight, apart from the Swan family, is only pretending to be human.
"What about the girls?" - None of the boys have caught Bella's eye so maybe...
What's in the Woods (Manuscript e) - Well, it had to be something, didn't it?
Why school wasn't canceled - An attempted explanation for why school wasn't canceled on the van scene day. This requires an explanation because, while it is possible to accept that there might be sparkling vampires, the idea that school wouldn't be canceled under those conditions defies plausibility. I hesitate to say it's the single most unrealistic thing in all of Twilight only because we're not that far into Twilight. This would fit nicely into the Edithverse.

Moneyball and Breaking Dawn - Amazon put the two side by side, so I thought of them in terms of each other.
Ten Reasons for Vampires to Attend High School - What it sounds like.
It's not an SUV it's a Time Machine! - Me being silly.  An extremely short post of me being silly.


Last updated 1-07-2014

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