Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Snarky Twilight: Meetings and greetings (Part 1)

[Originally posted at Ana Mardoll's Ramblings and the Slacktiverse.]
[Part 1 because I had to cut it short on account of being low on time]

Bella: Hey, Carlisle.
Carlisle: Am I still trying to be as suspicious as possible?
Edward: NO! Pay attention the story.
Carlisle: Ok, because last time I was...
Bella: I remember. How are you?
Carlisle: Fine, and you look better than last time.
Bella: Probably because Edward hasn't tackled me recently, bounced my head off the pavement like a basket ball, lied to me, and tried to gaslight me in the recent past.
Carlisle: That would do it.
Carlisle: This is my wife, Esme.
Bella: Why is it hard to focus on you or get a sense what you look like?
Esme: Because my description is sort of impossible. I'm straight and curved, you see.
Bella: That would do it.
Bella: And your clothing, both of your clothes, is impossible to focus on why?
Esme: Because it's impossible too.
Carlisle: The text says the colors match the room.
Esme: But the single most established fact about the room is that it's colorless.
Bella: Meaning no colors match the room.
Esme: Exactly.
Alice: (bored) Hey, Edward.
Edward: You were supposed to come running down the stairs.
Alice: But I already came down to greet Bella.
Edward: You weren't supposed to.
Bella: So what's this I hear about you betting on murder?
Alice: Silly thing. I told them you wouldn't kill Edward.
Edward: (shock) You were betting on whether or not she would kill me?
*Alice nods*


1 comment:

  1. Heh, Edward is probably the only one clueless enough to be shocked by that. Anyone who's actually been paying attention knows which of the pair is deadlier... and that it's not Edward.

    (J. Random Scribbler)