Friday, December 26, 2014

So, my sister walks into a bar covered in blood

All available sources agree, this is how it happened.

My sister walks into a bar covered in blood.

My sister walks into an Irish (American) pub covered in blood.

My sister walks into an Irish pub in New England covered in blood.

My sister walks into an Irish American pub in New England, after the Patriots won a football game, covered in blood.

Everybody in the pub (except, presumably, the workers) is drunk out of their minds.  They're looking at this woman who just walked into the pub and is covered in blood.

Does my sister explain why she is covered in blood?  No.  She's my sister.  She tells her friends, "Come on!  We're going to have the best Christmas ever!"

Because that totally makes sense coming from someone covered in blood without explanation.


I've never had venison before.  I'm not overly impressed, but neither am I disappointed.  I don't think it made yesterday the best Christmas ever.  But it was good meat.

What happened is that my sister got into a car accident.  She was fine.  The car was mostly fine.  The deer was, thankfully, killed instantly.

After my sister found out that last part she was completely fine with the situation and, as noted by her when she was covered in blood, looking forward to the best Christmas ever.

Before she found out she was terrified that she'd find that the deer had been terminally wounded but was still alive and suffering.  I can see how scary that would be.  The only decent thing to do in that case would be, as she said, to finish it off.  But intentionally killing something isn't really something either she or I want to do.  (Though she's more comfortable with getting to know things which are going to be killed than I am.)

Also, I think though she did not say this, there would probably be lingering doubt.  What if you thought it was terminally wounded when really it would have recovered?  Then your attempt at mercy would actually be a bad thing.

Anyway, that didn't happen.

The deer died instantly.  However, it landed wound side down.  When my sister approached it looked like it was fairly pristine, just stunned.  Then she lifted the head.  Which is when she got covered in blood.

Thus, venison.

Before the meal she said a grace in which she thanked God,  the deer, the car that killed the deer, and her friend who prepared the deer for eating.

And that, basically, is the kind of person my sister is.


  1. I should start keeping a list of Gripping Introductions. Glad to hear that it wasn't a disaster.

    The one time I recall having venison was in a chili with my Scout troop. That was pretty tasty.

  2. Poor deer.

    Your sister's entrance into that bar might be a start of a new urban legend. (I know my English is far from perfect, so clarification just in case: what I mean is not that it *sounds* like the start of one - though it is - but that it might lead to a new one being born that day/night/whatever.)

    A ritualistic part of me is kind of pleased she thanked the deer too, even though it didn't intend to become a meal. It's weird, because that part of me doesn't get outraged that I *don't* thank animals I eat,so why the opposite makes it pleased, I'm not quite sure.

    (The fandom side of me wonders whether every part of the deer was put to use.)

    --- Redcrow

    1. Depending on its injuries, the intestines might have burst and rendered much of the meat unusable.

    2. Sorry, I'm not quite sure what part of my post you're replying to. Are you saying "she probably thanked deer for its meat not being rendered unusable" or did you take "putting every part to use" to mean "eating all of it"? The first is slightly weird for me, since deer didn't actually intend for his meat to be edible in case of his death (but then, neither did he intend to die), the second... wasn't what I meant. Leaving aside morbid fandom in-jokes - meat isn't the only thing animals consist of, so it's not the only thing that can be used. But it *was* a morbid fandom in-joke, so my apologies in case my post confused you just as much as your comment confused me.

      --- Redcrow

    3. I think it is simply that Packbat didn't get the in-joke. (Which I didn't get either, but I'm used to not getting things that involve fandom sides of people.)


      I thought it was good that she thanked the deer too, but was somewhat less impressed when she went on to thank the car.

    4. That's understandable. I don't get a lot of other-people-fandoms' things, too. I just honestly thought it's clear that "every part" doesn't mean just meat.

      --- Redcrow

    5. Sorry, I get literal sometimes - I remember hearing someone comment on the best strategy for scavenging meat from a road-killed deer (something about taking the front legs and front part of the torso and leaving the rest), and I wanted to contribute in that direction. I know I've heard the "every part of the [x]" phrase before, but I wasn't thinking about it as an in-joke.

    6. No problems.

      "Using every part" is a normal common phrase, I think. The actual quote (that I decided not to use) from the show is worded slightly differently, and it's kind of worse in context. Maybe I needed to go with the actual quote anyway. Everyone would still be confused, but at least I'd guess the problem isn't with my English or anything like that.

      --- Redcrow