Even remembering that it wasn't a good movie it was still less of a good movie than I remembered it being.
And yet, it's built on a kernel of fun that shines through the total lack of living up to it.
Probably the absolute best part, even beating the main characters adopting a pterodactyl, is Bill Towner, Electrician and Adventurer.
The house in question isn't terribly interested in things like space, time, and logical continuity. As such, it has some electrical problems.
Before main-character's fiance leaves him because it's-not-what-it looks-like, she called an electrician. Bill Towner.
Main character, Jesse, has no time for an electrician because an object of immense magical power has been stolen and thus plot. Bill is totally oblivious to Jesse wanting him gone and merely assures Jesse that once he's left alone with the problem he'll be totally out of Jesse's way.
He's bumbling, odd, and seems like an annoyance added to the movie to pad out its lack of plot.
Fast forward a bit. Jesse and his best friend have armed themselves with swords and are trying to find out where whoever stole the Mcguffin went. When Bill tries to get their attention the startled sidekick slashes blindly with the sword and, if Bill hadn't quickly blocked it with his hammer, bill would have been severely injured or even killed.
Bill is completely unfazed by the sword that was swung at him, says that he thinks he's found the problem and insists, even after Jesse tries to convince Bill to leave and come back the next day, that they take a look.
They go in and find a giant hole Bill has made in the wall.
"Well, there it is. Looks like you got some kind of alternate universe in there or somethin'," Bill explains.Oh, and Bill is played by Cliff from Cheers.
Main character and sidekick head in, over his objections:
"Uh, I don't know you guys, look: that's an alternate dimension in there or somethin' and uh..."
and when it's clear they're going anyway Bill follows:
"Well, hold on a second will you? I've been through this kind of thing before." *goes to his box of tools* "Don't touch anything till I get there." *pulls out a sword he keeps hidden in the box under a false bottom* "Looks like you're gonna need the help of a professional."Bill gives Jesse a flashlight and, without comment, sets up a spool of thread so that they'll be able to follow it back out again.
When they reach the sword fight at the end of the labyrinth Bill is the only one who is even moderately competent. The others are useless, he's awesome. And he makes good use of an ordinary hammer as a parrying weapon in the hand that isn't holding the sword.
Bill holds off the bad guys, his string is the only way the good guys are able to find their way back. (This isn't because they knew they could rely on it, by the way, they didn't realize it was there.) His parting comment is:
"Don't worry about me. I gotta get home; it's my kid's little league night."And, if you've ever seen a character like Bill before (think Ardeth from the movie The Mummy) you know that when the main characters do make it back out Bill is already there waiting for them. He was starting to get a little worried about them, in fact.
He's just finishing packing up his tools when they come out, he gives Jesse his card (Bill Towner Electrician and Adventurer) in case Jesse ever needs his help again, and then walks right out of the movie.
Unfortunately he mars his otherwise wonderful character by doing the annoying, "You don't understand English so I'm going to speak English to you loudly and slowly as if that will somehow make you understand," thing.
He does it to the love interest who probably hits sexism bingo. She's exotic, a prize to be won, a damsel in distress, an assumed-virgin, and she never speaks a single word. And that's just for a start. I said it wasn't a good movie.
But back to Bill. The problems with the movie could fill volumes --the sexism and racism are just the start-- and I don't want to fill volumes, I want to talk about the character that is Bill.
We don't actually know if he's a good electrician or not; we know he's not a smooth electrician, but we don't really get a sense of whether or not, at the end of the day, he fixes the problems well.
Based on his talent with sword fighting we can surmise that part of the reason that he's less than ideal at his first profession (his card says "Electrician" first and has pictures of light bulbs on it) is that he spends a lot more time practicing his second one (Adventurer.)
He has a family. We don't know anything about it beyond the fact that he's damn well going to make it to his kid's little league night, but he's got a kid and it's important to him to be there for said kid and bad guys with swords in another dimension he found in a hole in a wall when trying to find the source of electrical problems are not going to stop him from attending his kid's little league.
Which brings me to what seems to be the heart of Bill's character:
He's someone who has strange adventures that require keeping a sword in his toolbox, but he's also leading a normal life. He seems to have achieved balance. Being an electrician is apparently paying the bills, he's able to be their for his kid, and the fact that impossible other worldly events work their way into his life doesn't perturb him in the least.
Bill is totally lacking in any kind of angst.
His life, for whatever reason, includes finding other worlds hidden inside walls and needing to sword fight, and he just rolls with it and makes it work.
I think we need more characters like Bill and we them to be more central. The movie would have been much better if it were about the electrician who needs to carry a (hidden) sword. Then again the movie would have been much better if [any number of things.]
We have stories where ordinary people have extraordinary adventures and the adventures are set apart from their lives*, we have stories about people who have incredible difficulty living normal lives while facing extraordinary things, but we don't really have stories of people who are able to integrate the extraordinary (there's an entire alternate universe inside your wall) with the ordinary (I need to get back in time for little league) without angsting over it.
Which seems even more odd when you consider that wish fulfillment (I can do ALL THE THINGS) is a big part of a lot of the kinds of fiction where such characters could show up.
Do note that there is absolutely nothing about Bill's character that requires he be male. When I say we need more characters like him I'm talking about non-male ones as well.
* We go to Narnia. We come back. Never shall our earth lives and Narnian lives intersect. (Except if it allows us to be mean to Susan.)