Sunday, December 7, 2014

Lonespark would like it if I could buy new pants

When it comes to dishonoring my ancestors by begging for money, I'm never quite sure of the etiquette.

I have not had misfortune or fuck-up bring catastrophic bills down upon my head since, you know, last month.  Actually, looking at things, I appear to have managed to avoid courting doom for the entire month of November (or I've misplaced a bill somewhere and doom is about to jump out at me), so no catastrophes since October.  Woo.

 And yet, there are other things where money would be useful.  For example, jeans.  Other than rain, which is death incarnate, I tend to have pretty good luck wearing jeans in mild to cold weather.  (Hot weather calls for different things entirely.)  Of course this means that my jeans, like my shoes, tend to get worn down a lot.

This is made more severe by the fact that I don't actually have that many pairs.  A given pair might be used twice a week, so that's eight hours of walking assuming no special trips, so ... yeah.

And thus Lonespark has noticed holes in a pair of my jeans.  Do you know where holes develop if you manage to rid yourself of hole causing repetitive motion patterns?  Well, unless you have the coveted and controversial "thigh gap", it's where your thighs touch as you walk.  You know, at the top of the inseam, right by the crotch.

And so Lonespark would like it if I had new pants*, but I can't afford to get new clothes.

And thus we come back to being unsure of the etiquette.  Am I supposed to only mention a lack of money when I am facing doom, or does the mild gloom of needing new clothes but not having the budget for them merit asking, "Hey, could you please give me money?"

I do not know this thing.


And then there's the fact that I have dentistry on Wednesday, so maybe in a three days I'll find out that I will have catastrophic bills.  Though, as things that can drive one close to the edge of economic collapse go, I place great value in the ongoing pursuit of keeping my teeth.

Sometimes I feel like, "Seriously?  I'm going to go broke over this?"  Never so with dentistry.  I have a great appreciation for the importance of it.


* For those from elsewhere in the world, this word may be confusing.  Let me explain:

Once upon a time there was a guy named in honor of being very lionesque** (some say in terms of courage.)  How Lionesque?  ALL THE LIONESQUE!  Thus he was called Pantaleone, Saint Pantaleone.

In Venice he was very popular.  Thus a lot of people were named after him.  There were Pantaleones everywhere.

And so arose a stock character in Italian plays named Pantaleone.  Why?  Because he was Venice.

Now, this stock character was easily identifiable by his leg-wear.

The leg-ware came to bear the character's name.

Both the character and the leg-ware mutated into being called pantaloon.

Pantaloons became very popular in France.

The word expanded to mean all garments that covered the body from the waist to the ankle while containing each leg separately.

The word bifurcated.  In general usage (see above) it mutated into "pants" while "pantaloons" came to refer to a type of undergarment worn under hoop skirts (because it was a garment that covered the body from the waist to the ankle while containing each leg separately.)

"Pants" came to refer exclusively to outerwear in places like Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and North America.  "Pantaloon" apparently re-expanded to again refer to more than just under-hoop-skirt-garments.  I say, "apparently," because I never use the word myself, so I know only from second hand accounts.

Thus "pants".


** Some say "ALL THE COMPASSIONATE" but they don't give me what Greek root they're translating as "compassionate" so I can't check if that makes any sense.


  1. Clothes are really important. Not as important as teeth, but being able to put on a good pair of pants is no trivial thing.

    (Oddly, I'm just not comfortable in jeans. I like slacks way better.)

  2. You might also need pantaloons for under skirts, no? More of a summer thing...

    Teeth = ALL THE GOOD.

    1. Definitely having underskirtwear is good, but in the coming winter it's not a primary concern.

  3. hhmmm, have you considered the bane and evil that is... ads? small not too obnoxious ones, anyway.

    1. There actually are ads here. Maybe your adblock is so effective you can't even tell they were ever there?

      (Thanks for reminding me to whitelist this site again, by the way. Firefox Sync transfers the fact that one has Ghostery installed, but not Ghostery's whitelist, and I'd forgotten to add Stealing Commas to the whitelist on the new computer.)

  4. I have sometimes imagined that the cost of getting lipo on my inner thighs would be completely paid back by not having to constantly replace pants with holes in the thighs.