Friday, November 1, 2013

On Vampires: Super Senses and Modern Media

[Originally posted at Ana Mardoll's Ramblings]
[Inspired by "It would be interesting if Edward [were] incapable of enjoying movies/TV, because his vampiric super-perception meant that he saw every frame individually."]

I am now imagining the vinyl only vampires who can totally hear the jumpy quality of digital music.
The thriving computerized interpolation research sector that exists solely to create more fracking frames so it doesn't look like a damn slide show:
Vampire 1: If we can just get to 2000 frames per second then we should be able to have the illusion of motion and finally be able to see what the mortals have been talking about this last century.
Vampire 2: But to do that we'd need to interpolate about 84 frames between every two actual frames, and have all of them be just as crisp as the originals and seem like they naturally flowed. On top of that: I don't know about you but I can see the pixels on these modern-
Vampire 1: I know
Vampire 2: I feel like I'm standing with my nose up to an impressionistic painting.
Vampire 1: I know.
Vampire 2: So won't converting to digital to make the interpolation just make everything that much worse? At least with analog you're looking at photos burned onto film the way cameras are supposed to work not this computer generated Pointillism bullshit.
Vampire 1: If we can get to, say, 146880p I think that should be solved.
Vampire 2: Ok, so now we're interpolating the image to increase resolution --drastically-- then interpolating between interpolations to create an additional 84 images. Do you have any idea how much fuckiness will be introduced in that level of interpolation?
Vampire 1: I've--
Vampire 2: We might have to invent entirely new branches of mathematics just to have the things not come out a disgustingly blurred mess.
Vampire 1: I'm going to see Casablanca, God Damn It!
And this is to say nothing of the vampires' utter hatred of radio.
In the more decadent spheres of the vampire world music and movies are enjoyed by having musicians and actors on call who will give live performances of the music and movies. For the movies incredible stages with large quantities of mirrors and magnifying-windowish-things have been created to simulate the effects of camera angles and zoom. Large outdoor scenes, or effects scenes, are traditionally done using miniatures.


  1. hahahahahaha. I loved this, thanks.

  2. Yeah, though film still has an effective pixel size. A modern digital still camera does just about outdo 35mm film in number of data points (though there's still a lot of argument about this, blind testing suggests that it's got good enough in the last few years, and most of the time people use nasty lenses that reduce the amount of data reaching the sensor anyway). 4000p is what archivists use when converting cine film.

    Which would be a reason for preferring paintings to photographs...