[Originally posted at The Slacktiverse on June 9th 2011.]
[Very fragmentary glimpses of interviews that Cameron actually conducted, unlike Buck who largely skipped the whole interview process.]
It was Ions!
It was Aliens.
It was a four dimensional pressure wave that displaced them along the unseen axis. They could be mere feet away but we can't see them because we can't pivot in four space to check (we're like iron filings in a magnetic field, locked into this one direction.)
It's really not that complicated if you don't fall victim to the main stream theory that we're living in a Cartesian world.
"Assuming that you are right, and science would have no difficulty explaining this if we used a rotational frame of reference, what would the science tell us?"
"You want me to tell you now? Right now?"
"Yes."
"You expect me to do multivariate coordinate substitution in my head in the middle of a global crisis?"
No mister bond, Cameron thought, I expect you to die.
It's proof that we're all living in The Matrix and one of the servers glitched.
The Qur'an clearly says...
The Bible clearly says...
The Buddhavacana clearly says...
The Pyramid Texts clearly say...
The Bhagavad Gita clearly says...
The Principia Discordia clearly says...
No child has been born for 15 years, the things people saw were just a delusion. The catastrophe, which was unrelated, jolted people out of that delusion.
"You translated the Voynich Manuscript?"
"Yes."
"And it fortold everything that has happened?"
"Yes."
"And you're only telling us about it now?"
[The last interview would be one with a fundamentalist who thinks the children were taken because in our fallen culture they would have grown up to be gay or transgendered (though those are not the words he chooses) Cameron imagines repeately punching the man in the face, when he finally pulls himself out of that and returns his attention to the situation he finds that the man didn't notice his total lack of attention up to this point:]
"God hates-"
"Cantaloupes," Cameron said.
"What?"
"Cantaloupes. God hates cantaloupes." Cameron paused to think for a moment, the man remained silent, dumbfounded. "I'm so glad to see that you're one of us. I'm sorry to have to resort to this ruse, pretending that this was an interview, but if I simply said, 'Come see me so I can check to see if you're a cantaloupe,' all of the cantaloupes would have known to stay away." Cameron showed the man to the door, "So keep up the good work and remember, if you see any cantaloupes pretending to be humans, report them to the cantaloupe culling commission posthaste."
Cameron closed the door behind the man and turned around to look at the empty room. Was there anything he hadn't heard in it over the past few days? He felt like he didn't have enough energy to stay standing, so he didn't. It wasn't exactly that he leaned on the door, more that he gave up and let gravity take him where it may. He looked at the ceiling and waited for some kind of answer to come. None did.
He thought he'd done enough interviews.
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[Left Behind Index]
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