[Originally posted at Ana Mardoll's Ramblings.]
Tricia looked up at me from the hospital bed. She was bruised, bandaged, apparently feeling very guilty. She didn't say anything and the silence was really awkward. Finally I broke it, "You wanted to see me?"
There was more silence, and then she spoke very, very fast, "I am so, so sorry. I don't know what happened. The cruise-control kicked in or something and it went out of control and when I tried to steer away it started spinning and I couldn't control it and I'm sorry."
"It's-"
"I'm sorry."
"I'm fine," I tried to be comforting and matter of fact at the same time, no idea if that worked at all.
"I almost killed you."
Now what do you say to that? No, no, I was never in any real danger. I just had two and a half tons of metal trying to squash me, no danger there. You defintely didn't nearly kill me. Somehow baldfaced lying didn't seem like the ideal solution. On the other hand, 'Yes, you did nearly kill me,' while true seemed less than ideal as well. I decided to go for honesty, lies never sat well with me. "I know, but Edith knocked me out of the way and I'm fine."
"Edith?"
"Edith Cullen. Look, the important thing is that I'm fine, so you don't need to feel bad about me."
"But I nearly killed you."
She was right, and I understood why she felt like it was a big deal, but I didn't think it was worth dwelling on, so I told her why that was, "That's nothing. If I stressed out every time I've nearly killed myself I'd never be unstressed. Back in Phoenix I nearly killed myself because apparently staircases are too complicated for me."
"What happened?"
"I didn't even make it to the stairs before things went wrong. I didn't lift my foot high enough off the ground, stumbled mid step, this happened at just the right place to send me flying down the stairs where I promptly landed face first on a freshman girl. I'd have killed me long before you got the chance if she hadn't broken my fall. As far as I know she still hasn't forgiven me." I did my best to tell say it in a way that was much more along the lines of funny story than, 'Oh My God. He lives with death every day.' Not that the two are mutually exclusive, when you do nearly kill yourself from time to time humor is a very important companion to have. 'If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane,' is something to live by.
It seemed to work because I did get, well not a smile, but whatever you call a near smile from Tricia. The way I said, 'As far as I know, she still hasn't forgiven me,' seemed to break through a lot of the tension. Of course then she said, "I'm still really sorry."
"Try to have some perspective, you're in a hospital bed. I'm just visiting. You don't need to worry about me."
"All right. I'll see you around."
"See you," I said and started to leave.
"I'm sorry about your truck too."
"Yeah, that sucks."
There was more silence, and then she spoke very, very fast, "I am so, so sorry. I don't know what happened. The cruise-control kicked in or something and it went out of control and when I tried to steer away it started spinning and I couldn't control it and I'm sorry."
"It's-"
"I'm sorry."
"I'm fine," I tried to be comforting and matter of fact at the same time, no idea if that worked at all.
"I almost killed you."
Now what do you say to that? No, no, I was never in any real danger. I just had two and a half tons of metal trying to squash me, no danger there. You defintely didn't nearly kill me. Somehow baldfaced lying didn't seem like the ideal solution. On the other hand, 'Yes, you did nearly kill me,' while true seemed less than ideal as well. I decided to go for honesty, lies never sat well with me. "I know, but Edith knocked me out of the way and I'm fine."
"Edith?"
"Edith Cullen. Look, the important thing is that I'm fine, so you don't need to feel bad about me."
"But I nearly killed you."
She was right, and I understood why she felt like it was a big deal, but I didn't think it was worth dwelling on, so I told her why that was, "That's nothing. If I stressed out every time I've nearly killed myself I'd never be unstressed. Back in Phoenix I nearly killed myself because apparently staircases are too complicated for me."
"What happened?"
"I didn't even make it to the stairs before things went wrong. I didn't lift my foot high enough off the ground, stumbled mid step, this happened at just the right place to send me flying down the stairs where I promptly landed face first on a freshman girl. I'd have killed me long before you got the chance if she hadn't broken my fall. As far as I know she still hasn't forgiven me." I did my best to tell say it in a way that was much more along the lines of funny story than, 'Oh My God. He lives with death every day.' Not that the two are mutually exclusive, when you do nearly kill yourself from time to time humor is a very important companion to have. 'If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane,' is something to live by.
It seemed to work because I did get, well not a smile, but whatever you call a near smile from Tricia. The way I said, 'As far as I know, she still hasn't forgiven me,' seemed to break through a lot of the tension. Of course then she said, "I'm still really sorry."
"Try to have some perspective, you're in a hospital bed. I'm just visiting. You don't need to worry about me."
"All right. I'll see you around."
"See you," I said and started to leave.
"I'm sorry about your truck too."
"Yeah, that sucks."
-
This is one of my favorite Edith and Ben chapters. The black humor is nice.
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