Friday, October 28, 2011

Four Weddings of Appropriate Length

[Originally posted at Slacktivist (page 5).]
[The thing was to write a wedding in 43 words but for some reason I misread that as 47 originally. These ones should be the right length.]

Thing one:

"Do you?"
"I do."
"Of course."
"I now pronounce you man and wife, may Cthulhu eat you last of all."

Madness spread throughout the land and masses huddled in fear of monsters beyond imagination. But for one moment the cultists knew joy.

Thing two:

"Are you sure about this?" the pastor asked.
"Yes," Megan said.
"It's just-"
"We want to spend the rest of our lives together, even if Jesus sends us to Hell for it," Ziva said.
"Ok," he said. "I'm convinced." So he married them.

Thing three:

Words cannot adequately describe what happened that day, and so I will not try. It is enough to know that they loved each other and that on that day, in front of their friends and families, they were married. And it was perfect.

Thing four:

The author shows a complete lack of priorities. While travel plans are formed off screen without a hint of description the wedding is described for seemingly interminable pages. Paragraphs spent on feelings, love, and other meaningless triva. "Where are the logistics?" I ask.


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