Wednesday, June 10, 2015

God's home town - Setting idea

In many ways the idea is for a comic, which would never work because I cannot draw.

The idea is this: generic small town, probably American because I'm American and it would likely use a lot of peculiar-to-America ideas.  Except... Jesus lives there.  God lives there.  The devil has a house there.  Buddha is in attendance.  There are gates to Hell and random stuff like that.

Think Sinfest but with a lot more focus on what it's like to live in a place with direct evidence of the divine and infernal, and a lot more playing with the idea.


Person: "Do you know a good lawyer?"
Long Time Native: (baffled) "Why?"
P: The bank foreclosed on my house even though I never missed a payment.
LTN: You've got a lot to learn; let me show you how we deal with that shit here.
LTN: Jesus!
*Jesus shows up*
LTN: The bank foreclosed on [p]'s house without cause.  Have a whip.

*Exterior shot of bank, bankers fleeing*
Jesus: (voice only) MONEYCHANGERS!


Person A: You made a deal with the devil!
Person B: It was strictly real estate!
Person B: Hellfire is the best when it comes to glass blowing and I save a bundle by not having to run my own furnace


People running the underground railroad to get souls out of Hell.

Defecting demons or angels seeking asylum in other pantheons.

"I mean, Christ On A Bike!"
*both interlocutors look as Jesus rides by*
"I forgot what I was saying."


Human, "Ok, I've got the cup of Christ," lays a souvenir cup on the counter.

Demon, "SeaWorld?"

Human, "Check the park names: It's from there was still a SeaWorld Ohio, you can't get those anymore and Jesus only had the one anyway."

Demon, "What else?"

Human lays a Nalgene bottle on the counter, full of black liquid, "The black waters of the river Styx."

Demon, "Decent, but hardly spectacular."

Human, "The bell of the Buddha," lays a doorbell on the counter.

Demon, "Does Buddha know you stole this."

Human, "I didn't steal this one, I asked for it."

Demon, "You asked for something?"

Human, "He wasn't using it, so I asked."

Demon, "Still not enough."

Human, "Thoth's book," lays down a nature book focused on ibises, "seed from a lotus tree," drops several seeds, mostly tangerine, on the counter and then picks up all the mundane ones, "one of Ithun's apples--"

Demon, "That's an iPad."

Human, "It was this or the netbook."

Demon *sighs* "Go on."

Human, "Gabriel's horn," puts a party horn on the table.

Demon, "You're sure this belongs to Gabriel?"

*Human hands the Demon a slip of paper*

Human, "I even stole the receipt."

Demon, "This is enough, but remember: the order is only to drop current hostilities.  If you cross [name of another demon] again, she's free to come after you."

Human, "Till then, I guess."

Demon, "If you live."


People sneaking through hell to steal gold to pay for a friend's medical expenses

LTN: This would be so much easier if God hadn't taken Jesus out of town for "Father Son Time."
P: Why?
LTN: Because then we'd just break into Jesus's home.
P: I didn't think he had money.
LTN: He doesn't.

*door is kicked in*
Jesus: Couldn't you knock?
LTN: My friend needs to be healed.
Friend: *looking at broken door and door-frame* Sorry.
Jesus *while healing Friend* It wasn't even locked.


"We're going on a high risk mission into Hell and you brought a toy crossbow with suction cup arrows?"

"Brightly colored suction cup arrows."

"That makes so much more sense."

"I dipped them in holy water."


Group of humans trying to help souls escape are surrounded in Hell by demons and forced to drop their weapons, yes: even the toy crossbows.

Human (not the one from above): "You don't have to do this, you know."
Head Demon: "I know.  I just like my job."
Human: "There are worlds beyond this one.  Hot worlds, cold worlds, temperate, lush forests, endless plains, wonders that my language lacks the words to describe.  You could go to any of them.  I could take you there."
Head Demon: "You're not going to talk your way out of this, I like my job and I will love seeing you in torment."
Other Human: "She wasn't talking to you."
Human: "You join our side, and you can be free.  You'll never have to take orders in this place again."
Head Demon: "Shut up or I'll have you gagged!"
Other Human: "Have you considered all the benefits polytheism has to offer?"
Human: "I can get you all out of here."

*underling demons switch sides, re-arm the humans*

*Later in another realm, at the throne of Hel, daughter of Loki*

Human: I know our standing agreement is just for human souls, but if you help me get them *points to the demons* each to a neutral pantheon of their choosing, I'll be in your debt and you know I pay my debts.



Completely forgot something that I'm giving it's own post: the Divine Feminine.


  1. "MONEYCHANGERS!" is an awesome battlecry.

    I'd read this comic. Or draw it, but I can't draw well enough, either.

  2. Online Comic, webseries, novel, however it's put up, I like the premise.

  3. There's the anime series Saint Onii-San (Jesus and Buddha share a flat in modern Tokyo, because reasons), but you've already put more thought into this than the creators of that series did.

    Being unable to draw needn't stop you doing a webcomic if you can 3d-model.