Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Bike ride to the dentist

I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin' about half past dead
I just need some place where I can lay my head
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, "no" was all he said
-The Band


I hadn't been able to make it to my originally scheduled cleaning because I woke up in the morning and spent several hours dead.  I seriously have no idea how zombies do it because whenever I'm dead destroying civilization is way more effort than I could possibly put in.

Beyond the obvious desire to keep my teeth, which both the cleaning and the checking help with, I wanted the appointment because there was this weird ... thing on one of my teeth.  A sort of sharpish ridge where there really shouldn't be one.  it was a tooth that had been fixed, so I was worried that maybe part of a filling had come out or something.

It wasn't bothering me, besides worrying about what it could mean, and while it was the sharpest thing in my mouth it wasn't like it was going to cut my tongue.  But it was worrying me and it was weird and I wanted a professional to look at it and do something about it.

So we come to my appointment today.  I thought it was for tomorrow.  Oops.

So, they called to say I could come in early, I called back to say I'd be late but would be there.  It meant taking my bike.  My bike that hasn't seen use in a decade or so.

I inflated the tires (third pump I found worked) and headed out.  If all went well I should be ten minutes or less late.  First problem was roadwork.  There wasn't enough space to ride a bike.

Then the tires began losing air.  At least, I think that's what happened.  We'll get back to that.

So, passed the road work, semi-flat tires.

I haven't ridden a bike in a very long time.  I completely forgot that it requires the use of muscles that serve no purposed in the non-bike-riding world.

The state of the gears didn't help either.  The pedal gear could shift from medium to high difficulty-high reward, I have no idea what the fuck the rear ones were doing.  They only responded a little and there was no way to make them work properly.  The chain kept slipping.  Not off the gears, just failing to work right and ... slipping.  Like the experience of shifting gears without the gear shift to justify the turbulent moments where your peddling is for naught motion-wise

I missed I left turn I should have made.  God only knows how much that lengthened my trip.

It started raining.

I took a left turn I shouldn't have.  My body was spent before that point.  I was exhausted, I was dehydrated,  I hadn't eaten (but had, thankfully, remembered my medication.)

Already I had prayed various things that started with the word "please" at this point what followed had largely become meaningless.  "Please.  Please.   Please.  Please..."  Times beyond counting.

I found the road the dentist was on.  The very end of the road.  Good news: it meant that I knew which way to turn.  Bad news: it meant I had gone literally as far in the wrong direction as it was possible to go and still find the road.  Not figuratively, literally.  Literally-literally.

I my glasses were rained up and fogged up.  I had no coat.  I had to frequently take breaks from riding even on level ground.  When I got inside I was soaked and exhausted.

Also, I was finally in view of a clock.  I should have been ten minutes late.  I was 45 minutes late.  Of course I missed my appointment.  They had an opening in an hour and a half.  I just collapsed in a chair in the waiting room.

I actually got in earlier.  Someone was willing to take the later opening and let me have their time.

My teeth are fine.  The weird thing was apparently nothing to worry about, but it has been leveled out to get rid of weirdness.

I said that I'd get back to the tires on the bike.  On the way back they were well filled and stayed that way.  How?  I don't know.  Charitable bike fixing ninja, perhaps.

Of course, if my bike should ever reach the point it no longer functions as a bike, I do have a back up bike that doesn't work either.


  1. What a day. Glad to hear about the teeth, though.

  2. There is a fair bit of good bike-fixing information on-line. If the chain is skipping teeth, and the teeth aren't obviously worn or bent, then the problem may well be that the chain tension is too low; they do stretch over time.

  3. I'm glad to "hear" that your teeth are okay and bike fixing ninjas took care of your tires.


  4. Bike fixing ninja human/spirit/whatever, you're awesome!!!

  5. Also, I am so excited that you have a (sort of rideable) bike and that you can (mostly) ride... We can go places! The kids are all into bike rides lately!

  6. Also I am not on a plane to California. This has... implications.