Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Random Pile of Twilight

Bunch of random Twilight things, posted at various times

Originally posted in Ana Mardoll's Characterization through Buzzwords thread:

I want the Monkey Island version of Twilight. 
Not sure what it would be like, not sure why I want it, but for some reason I want it. 
"I'm Bella Swan, I want to be a vampire."
"So you want to be a vampire, eh? You look more like a flooring inspector."
Carlisle: "Well, alright. But you don't become a vampire just by ASKING."
Esme: "You'll have to go through..."
All Three Vampires: "The three trials!"
Bella: "Er... What three trials are those?"
Alice: "There are three trials every vampire must pass..."

Originally posted in Ana Mardoll's Chapter 7 Wrap-Up thread, note that these are all random and thus they do not go together.  Anyway, Twilight:

Desolation hit me with crippling strength.

I am not familiar with this usage of the word desolation. Of the dictionaries I have looked at, some indicate that it can be used meaning sadness or loneliness, but still it seems off to me.

I feel like there's some kind of poetic meaning that I can't quite get a hold of which indicates that Bella has just had an uncomfortable encounter with the empty wastelands of her soul.


I'm confused and amused by Charlie's insistence that he can feed himself. I DEMAND EVIDENCE IN SUPPORT OF THIS ASSERTION.

I think he just lies out in the sun/sunlight filtering through the clouds, and photosynthesizes.


   "I think . . . and if you ever repeat what I’m saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death-"
   "Actually," Mike said quickly, "if it's that kind of a secret I'd rather not know."
   "I don't really want to get beaten to death, and if knowing this makes it so I could bring on such an evil fate simply by speaking loosely, I'd rather not know."
   "Seriously, just don't tell me. It's like your friends the Cullens, the whole town knows that if their secret gets out we'll all be killed, so we've decided that the best way to keep a secret is not to know it in the first place. So whenever they happen to be stumbling around intoxicated as if on the blood of a fermented cow, ready to share their deepest darkest secrets with anyone who will listen, we politely explain that no, we don't actually want to know. It's nothing personal, we just don't want to die." Mike looked off into space, as if remembering something. "And occasionally, very occasionally, afterwards they thank us for it."
   There was a long pause, then Mike continued, "So if this is a, 'I'll beat you to death,' kind of secret, cheerfully or otherwise, I'd rather not know in the first place."
   "Are you insane?"
   "Hey, I'm not the one pining after an antisocial, abusive, deathly pale, cold to the touch, moodring eyed, truancy indulging, befanged, jerk from a family best known for its incestuous relationships." I was ready to kill Mike. "Just saying."
   "It's definitely going to be cheerfully," I said. Mike ran away.


   "No, Dad, but I’m helping them find dresses -- you know, giving them constructive criticism." I wouldn’t have to explain this to a woman.
   "So my hope that you're finally doing things with friends was completely unfounded." I ... didn't understand. What was he talking about? "You know, Bells, sometimes people just do things together because they enjoy each other's company. There's nothing wrong with that." Oh, it was some of that antiquated crap he used to try to shove on me when I was little. He really just didn't understand how the world worked. "It's ok to just hang out with your friends because they're your friends. You don't need to be there to do a job or fill a role."
   I tried not to roll my eyes. I failed. "Whatever."
   Charlie sighed, "Ok. At least try to enjoy yourself." I thought that he was going to leave it at that and allow blissful silence to take over the conversation, but then he added, "But remember that it's a school night."
   "We’ll leave right after school, so we can get back early. You’ll be okay for dinner, right?"
   "I'll be fine. I have managed to feed myself in the past you know."
   "I don’t know how you survived," I muttered, then added more clearly, "I’ll leave some things for cold-cut sandwiches in the fridge, okay? Right on top."
   "Bells, you don't have to do that. You don't have to make food for me, you don't have to take care of everyone. You can just... be yourself." More pointless moralizing. "I don't need you to pay me in food, I like having you around. You don't owe me-"
   "Right On Top," I said in a tone that made clear the conversation was over.
   Charlie sighed again, but he said, "Fine."


   Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, which I answered as naturally as I could while spiraling downward in misery. Turning and turning in the widening gyre, I could not hear the falconer, things fall apart. The center cannot hold. Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world

Given that I'm the one always pointing out that Bella is consistently exhibiting clear signs of depression, I probably shouldn't make fun. And yet, that world, desolation, that Bella was hit by. It's origin is in desolatio which means,amoung other things, desert, and somewhere in those sands,
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

And how much do you want to bet that those thighs sparkle?


   The Port Angeles scheme was back on again for tonight and made all the more attractive by the fact that Lauren had other obligations. I didn't know what they were, but Jessica mumbled something about family obligations and something about "ph'nglui mglw'nafh" or some such. I didn't really care, I was just happy that Fisheyes wasn't going to be there.


[Twilight Index]


  1. Those were hilarious. Thanks for reposting them - my blog reading has been sporadic of late.

  2. Just had a flash of inspiration. What if Desolation is some kind of divine (or demonic) figure, sort of like Despite from Thomas Covenant? So when It "hits" Bella with "crippling strength", she's been cursed. She is now incredibly muscular. She is so muscular, she could bench press her truck. Or at least, she could if she was able to move around with all that muscle. She now has strength so great she could do anything - strength so great she can do nothing.

    Thought I should share.

    The actual text reads like a pretty simple personification of an emotion, though, like being "struck by inspiration". Understandable, but lame and overwrought.