Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Nick Andes - Demon Resources

[Originally posted at Slacktivist (page 2) and The Slacktiverse.]
[Not entirely sure how canonical this is as I picture Nick Ande's organization as being almost entirely human, but it's what came to mind while Fred was talking about the difficulties of one world government. Hell: If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.]

Nick shuffled through the paperwork on his desk, recruiting people proved easy. He was a good speaker and had a simple message: We've been attacked, we've been hurt, the world's children have been kidnapped, we have to work together if we want to do anything about it. Actually forming them into an organization was not so easy. Also, humans and demons didn't always work together well, but he was grateful for the additional help.

He was struggling to keep up and he wasn't even sure what day it was anymore. The next person walked into the room and he didn't even know what job they were after. He gave up on find the documentation and asked, “So what are you here fo-?” when his eyes met her his brain stopped. She was, simply, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Not just the most beautiful person. She was also more beautiful than any sunset or painting or waterfall.

Her clothing was modest, loose jeans, a dark shirt and a light jacket, but dressed that way she was more sexy than any swimsuit model Nick had ever laid eyes on.

When he came to his senses he apologized for staring and then said, “You are stunningly beautiful.”

“That's my job.”

“Your job?”

“A few centuries ago God thought Lucifer was making demons wrong, so he made a bunch of Succubi and Incubi to show her how it's done right. I was one of them.”

“So your job is just to be pretty?” Nick asked, it didn't seem like a very fulfilling job to him.

“Yes. That's what I was created to do.”

“And what can I do for you?”

“I want an administrative post in Afghanistan.”

“You want to be assigned to Afghanistan?”

“I'm good at making order out of chaos. I was once told I was the best logistician in Dis.”

That sounded like a fulfilling line of work to Nick, he just wished he were capable of it. “I'll have to check your references,” he looked at his desk, “once I find them,” on second thought, Nick decided he'd just ask Lucifer for her impression, “so I'm not saying anything definite, but I'm thinking if you want you can have the whole country.


  1. This made me laugh. And since I know you know your Greek, I can't help but imagine that if all else fails she can conduct board meetings in the nude a la Lysistrata's assistant.

  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAatjxVxDEk&feature=youtu.be I would like to offer this as tribute.

  3. Would be a good counterpart to Chloe actually, given how logistics is her superpower too.

    I ended up developing this: http://emlia.org/pmwiki/pub/web/Tripocalypse.Tripocalypse.html (humanity wins the battle of Armageddon) and this http://emlia.org/pmwiki/pub/web/LeftBeyond.LeftBeyond.html (Yahweh wins the battle of Armageddon).