Sunday, October 16, 2016

Snarky Narnia: Aravis and Lasaraleen after the Tisroc left

[Originally Posted at Ana Mardoll's Ramblings.]
[At this rate I'll need a Snarky Narnia index]

Lasaraleen: How-- wait, you're shaking too? I thought you were the tough one.

Aravis: If even one of them had so much as considered giving a cursory check that the room was empty at any point, we'd be dead. That was a long time to be afraid that we'd be killed by one of those three being hit by a bolt of competence.

Lasaraleen: Is that your version of: Even tough people get scared.

Aravis: Something like that, let's get out of here. Things are already going well behind where I'd like them to be and we just got slammed with another side quest.

Lasaraleen: How are we going to save the third cook?

Aravis: I'm not sure. I'm also more than a bit curious as to what happened to the first two.

Lasaraleen: I know that.

Aravis: And?

Lasaraleen: Don't ask.


Lasaraleen: You really, truly, do not want to know.

Aravis: Ok, then. Moving on.


Lasaraleen: Now that we've saved the cook, there's something I've been thinking, which I know you won't like, that I'd like to suggest.

Aravis: You're my friend. Suggest away.

Lasaraleen: We should go back.

Aravis: Come again?

Lasaraleen: Go back rather than go forward with our earlier plans.

Aravis: Into forced marriage and such.

Lasaraleen: It's not as bad as it could be, I didn't you hear how "great" your assigned husband is.

Aravis: He says things all involved know just so he can hear the sound of his own voice, he speaks what will be best received, and he's all up for murder by proxy.

Lasaraleen: Not to mention that he thinks he's clever when he clearly isn't and is so full of himself that he'd hardly notice if someone else, someone like you, were manipulating him into whatever you wanted.

Aravis: And if I wanted a divorce?

Lasaraleen: That might take some time but . . .

Aravis: Yeah, see, that's the thing.

Lasaraleen: Ok, but our plan is kind of crap and there are other ways we could approach things.

Aravis: I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart.

Lasaraleen: Has it, perhaps, occurred to you, that the warning in your heart comes from strange gods not of our lands?

Aravis: Of course, but I have no reason to think that the dread lion should have some form of grudge against me. He hardly ever gets involved directly and when he does it's to change the fates of nations not to do harm to one such as me. If he is nudging me toward his lands, why not follow? I was going there anyway.

Lasaraleen: I hope that you're right.

Aravis: Thanks.

*they hug*

Aravis: I'll understand if you don't want to risk helping me.

Lasaraleen: I don't want to. I'm going to.

Aravis: Thank you again.


Groom: I feel like my part in all of this was rather meaningless and you could have taken my place.

Aravis: I needed to be present for some exposition, but you can go home now. Of course to do it now is to do it illegally, so there are questions you must ponder before taking action. Here is money, go and ponder elsewhere.

*Groom exits stage left*

*Aravis starts hugging the horses*

*Shasta enters stage right*

Bree: We're all here now.

Hwin: it's as if some sort of otherworldly force--

Bree: A God-Lion.

Hwin: --such as a bad author brought us all together again.

Aravis: Yup, so I'm going to transmit the exposition that got dumped on me now.


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