Thursday, June 20, 2013

So, I'm on youtube

Because today has not been a good day and there was a strong temptation to write a post called, "Just shoot me now," in which I explained that it's possible to be totally not suicidal and still feel like death is a non-objectionable proposition, I figured maybe it was best to write about some day other than today.

So once upon a time not long ago my sister asked me if getting a reality soul would be selling her soul.  I said yes.  Of course it would be.  But the soul market is over-saturated and souls are not worth what they once were so the real question is whether or not what she gets in return is worth her soul.

What she hopes to get in return is, basically, her farm.  One of the annoying things that happened today was that a video camera turned off without warning and good footage of her was never recorded in which she really explained in sincere ways what she hoped a landing the reality show could do: getting people to see the farm, see the people on it, see past the odd appearance into the reality of it, understand what it is worth, become invested in it because it's something worth investing in, and so forth.

Because the alternative, the one evil aunt who was responsible for turning it into a drug trafficking capital wants, is to sell it to someone who will destroy it to make 15 condominiums for old people so he can milk money out of the aging and death of the baby boomers.  This will, of course, involve cutting down the trees, that will in turn change the water situation (the trees sucking up water is the only thing stopping the area from being wetland) but that's no problem because the developer in question illegally fills in wetlands and even though everyone knows he does it no one has been able to prove it in a legally binding way and thus he gets away with it.  He's perfect for my aunt.

When I was little my mother would point to housing developments and say, "When I was little this was all farmland."  Now I'm old enough that she doesn't have to because I can look out the window of the car as we drive by and know for myself, "When I was little this was all farmland."  The farms have given way to homes for people who barely even live in them.  Homes for rich people who are somehow drawn to living for a week or two a year on a patch of land that was once a farm and is now one gate away from becoming a gated community.

At least the condominiums for old people idea involves the farm being destroyed for houses people will actually live in.

But I'm getting off topic here.  There's a call for a reality show set on a farm, and as a result of my sister showing an interest in selling her soul by becoming a reality show person it was requested that she set up a channel where she had various people who would likely be on the farm during said show answer some questions.

And so, some days ago, she recorded me talking.  And thus I am on youtube on a channel not my own.  It's a short clip (she cut most of what I said) and the sound quality is for crap, but it's better than talking about my day today.  So, go, view this thing.

Learn about the weeping willow that rose from the ashes of its own destruction.

I have no idea what the odds are that she actually gets the show.


  1. Your voice, while by no means matching the voice I read your writing in (they never do, except sometimes with people I heard before reading), is significantly less unfitting than most. (Did I say this when you posted that video of you talking about your puzzles? I don't remember if I said it or if I just thought it.)

    I find it kind of amusing that Youtube has latched onto your name and most of the "related videos" are of other people named Chris. Chris Bosh, Chris Brown, Chris Hadfield (who I highly recommend)...

    1. they never do

      I had a similar experience with meeting Fred Clark (we must do that again, someone get Stewart and Colbert to do "The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear 2.0") I honestly don't know how I imagined him looking or sounding, but I know it was different from how he did look and sound.


      I don't know if you said it before; I could look it up, but not right now.

  2. I am so sorry you had a shit day. I hope we can talk soon and do somthing in the next few weeks.

  3. Fwiw, if you ever do write that first article I will be RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. I was angsting yesterday about how to explain that having suicidal thoughts does not mean I am suicidal - it just means I have to deal with shitty thoughts today, and it'll be easier to deal with them if I can talk to you about it without constantly having to comfort and reassure you. *eyeroll*

    Also, I hope it's not weird to say I really like your voice and the way you look/move on video :-)