So all of my cards, of which there are five (two credit, one food, one ID, one bank card) went missing. Normally this wouldn't be particularly distressing as things go missing all the time and then turn up later just fine, but I'm rather low on food so the loss of the food card was rather distressing as without it I can't eat without getting into debt I might never be able to pay back. (Have you seen the interest rates of credit cards? If you get yourself in a position where you're paying interest instead of paying off your balance pre-interest you're probably screwed for life.)
Then something strange started to happen. First it was the credit card I use least often, then my ID. They were showing up in the wash but not, oddly, when I was washing my clothes.
I check the machine to make sure nothing is left in there between loads (I wash my sister's clothes; if something can fit inside a washing machine I've probably found it in there after transferring her clothes to the dryer) so what the fuck? Mere moments ago I finally figured out.
It seems that the type of washer I have has seams in its metal construction that are just the right size for a credit card or similarly shaped object to fit into. Once they get stuck in there they can wait as long as they damn well please to come out.
I now have all my cards. Yay.
If you should lose your cards by forgetting to empty your pockets before washing your [whatever garment you keep them in] don't just check for loose things in the washing machine, feel around inside to see if anything is caught in any of the cracks. God only knows how long they'd take to shake loose on their own.
That is my wisdom for the day.