Tuesday, April 28, 2015

HHII: Graduation Part 1.5 (Kim Possible)

--First, a bit about the continuity.

I have in the dark corners of my mind the idea of creating my own version of Kim Possible.  Not one story, the entire continuity.  Every episode (except for maybe one that has serious DO NOT WANT and implies that Valentine's Day takes place in September) all the way through.  A complete alternate version everything.  This is obviously a massive project that would take time, dedication, and lots of effort.  Or, in other words, I'll probably never do it.

It none the less has a name: "Here's how it is" and a theme: continuity.  What happens in one episode doesn't get forgotten about.  Which leads to a secondary theme of growth (since lessons learned stay learned and all that.)  I've only written one previous thing in this continuity, it can be found here.

--Second, a bit about the timing.

In Graduation Part 1 aliens abduct Kim (when she was making a speech during graduation) and launch and invasion.  This story only covers the first two minutes of Part 2 (not counting "Previously" and the credits sequence) because I feel like that was handled poorly, they should have been thinking more thoughts, and they should have been doing more things.

Actually, it takes up less than the first two minutes because I'm only doing the earth-bound portion

--Third, and final since I do actually want to get to the story here, Relationships.

This isn't a shipping story, but it does help to understand interpersonal stakes and whatnot so: Kim is dating Alex.  Ron is dating Tara.  Bonnie is dating Monique.  Felix is dating Zita.  I don't think that any of the other relationships matter here.  Ron transitioned (first name changed to Ronda officially but usually not called that.)  As for why so many F/F relationships, Kim Possible doesn't actually have that many male characters (in high school at least) to work with.

Josh Mankey and Ned may be good for various things, but they don't have a lot to bring to the table here.  Brick graduated the year before

Oh, one last thing Ann Possible = Mrs. Dr Possible.  James Possible = Mr. Dr Possible.  The reason that people use the Mrs. and the Mr. when normally you omit them if the person is a doctor is that it's just confusing if you say "Doctor Possible".

Ok, actual story time:

- - -

The high school had sustained heavy damage, but most of the structure was still sound.  Power had been lost and the primary source of light was moonlight through the windows.  Even the emergency floodlights had been knocked out.

Wade, Ron, Kim's father, Alex, and Tara huddled around the monitor of a system he'd set up on an independent power supply.

"Ok," Wade said, "I up-linked to Jim and Tim's satellite.  Definitely getting a clearer picture."

"Annnd?" Ron asked.

"It's bad," Mr. Dr. Possible said.

"Bad doesn't begin to describe it," Wade said.  He hit a few keys and pulled up video.  Ron was smarter than most people gave her credit for, but she worked better with visual aids than raw text-based data.  "First they took out the power, all over the planet.  They activated these machines," the video switched to giant walking alien robots.  Quadrapods. "Everywhere.  And they can't be stopped, at least by conventional means." The robots wrought destruction by smashing things with their legs and firing disintegration rays.  The video showed them defeating a tank battalion without getting a scratch before the camera itself fell victim to one of the rays.

"Wha-" Ron said before she and Alex simultaneously asked, "What about Kim?"

No one said, "Jinx." No one owed anyone a soda.  Things were too dire for that.

Wade turned slightly away from Ron, Alex, and Mr. Dr. Possible.  "Nothing yet," he admitted.

Mr. Dr. Possible frowned.

Ron walked to a window and looked up at the stars. Tara followed silently and gave her a hug from behind.

Ron said, "If Kim's lost in the stars, I'm finding her."

Alex allowed a glimmer of hope to enter her.

"We're gonna need a rocket," Ron said.

Doctor James Possible was a rocket scientist.  No one had any doubt where the rocket would come from.

"It's dangerous out there," Alex said, "I hope you filled the tanks on the rocket boosters attached to your scooter."

Ron nodded.  "I have."

"Then bring her back," Alex ordered.

The lights in the room flickered on.  Soon power to the whole school was powered up.

* * *

Tim and Jim Possible stood in the cafeteria, looking at the giant disgusting mass of what passed for food and the various things they'd cobbled together and attached to it.  It was a rush job: no insulated wires, no safety features of any kind.  The electricity arced and sparked.

"Hoo-sha!" they declared.

From behind them, their uncle Slim said, "Pretty Slick fellas: electrochemical energy."

"Take the operating principles of a potato battery," Jim said.

"Substitute the mystery meat," Tim said.

"You can power the whole school," they said in unison.

Rufust watched the diagnostic equipment they had set up, and, when everything was stable and in the green, turned to the humans, gestured a thumbs up, and declared, "Booyah!"

* * *

Bonnie and Monique entered the room where the Wade and the others were.

Bonnie announced, "The twins and uncle accent got us power, the other Doctor Possible," Kim's mother was a brain surgeon, "and the parents Stoppable are making sure that we know where everyone is and that no one is injured.  What have you found out?"

"No sign of Kim," Alex said.

"Power is out globally," Tara said.

"And these things," Wade told her pointing to the monitor, "are all over the world and can't be stopped by conventional weapons."

"Please tell me no one is thinking of nuclear strikes," Monique said.

"They can think all they want," Wade told her; "Without power they can't launch."

"Well, that's a relief," Monique said.

"This is bad," Bonnie said.

Mr. Dr. Possible, Ron, Alex and Tara all repeated what Wade had said to them, "Bad doesn't begin to describe it."

Bonnie was taken aback for a moment by the uniform response, but then explained, "No, this," she pointed to the lights, now on, in the classroom, "is bad.  If the power is out globally, and we just turned the power on here..."

"We're lit up like a beacon," Alex realized.

"We need to get the twins to turn it back off!" Ron shouted as she ran for the door.

"No," Monique said, clearly a command rather than a suggestion.

"No?" Mr. Dr. Possible asked.

"They've probably noticed that the power is on," Monique said.  "If we turn it off then they'll know for sure that someone is controlling it, I don't think we want that."

Mr. Dr. Possible nodded, then added "Making them think we don't want to be noticed would probably bring them here faster."

A voice from outside the room said, "Can I have a moment, Ron?"

* * *

"Penny," Ron said.

"Ronda," she returned the greeting.  "I got in touch with Mr North.  The mansion is kaput, but the Ferret Hole is holding.  I might be able to help if I can get there."  She paused, "But that's a pretty big 'if'."

Ron's eyes lit up, then she slumped her shoulders.  "The war machine things are immune to conventional weapons.  I don't think Ferret power is going to help here.

"The twins installed a new weapons system, dual plasma shooters."

Ron tilted her her head in appraisal.

"The weird thing is, they said it was based on one of your designs," Penny said.  "A plasma catapult or some such.  I didn't know you were an inventor, Ronda"

Ron looked away, "Yeah, well ... I had sort of turned evil at the time.  It's not something I like to think about very often."  There was a long, and Ron thought quite awkward, silence.  Then Ron said, "We should go see what the others are doing."

* * *

When Ron and Penny walked back into the room, it seemed like a debate had just ended.  The only part of it they caught was Tara's concluding remark:

"Tricking them into thinking we don't have a plan sounds nice and all, but given that we don't have a plan, what good will it do?  Even if they don't think the school is an immediate threat, they're going to come to the only lit up building in the state pretty soon regardless."

Ron sighed, "The rescue mission is on hold," she said, looking at Alex and Mr. Dr. Possible with silent apologies.  "We can't leave until we have a defense set up."

"I can work with the twins on that," Wade said.

"I know someone who can help," Monique said.  Everyone in the room just stared.  Monique was smart, strong, capable of keeping track of complex patterns of information flow in dynamic word of mouth systems, and not at all into science.  Monique looked at Ron and said, "Kim's lab partner from my first year here."

Ron and Bonnie said, "Ohhh,,,"

Wade, Alex, Tara, and Mr. Dr. Possible all still had confused expressions on their face.

Bonnie said, "She made an inter-dimensional portal in one week."

Ron said, "She used it to get rid of a giant rampaging dinosaur-thing."

Bonnie said, "Which Barkin then unleashed on the science wing by fiddling with the machine when he had no idea what he was doing."

There was a bit of silence, then Ron said, "Monique has a good idea, we should gather the people we think can help and then meet back here."  Various people nodded.

"I think I could help most by assisting the Stoppables and Mrs. Dr. P," Tara said, starting to leave.

"Same here," Alex said, following her.

Tara stopped at the door and said, "Ronnie, come by before you leave to get Kim."

"I will," Ron said.  Then she thought for a moment.

"Monique, your idea is great, get Justine.  Mr. Dr, P, you know most of the scientists, in the area, so you should know any who were here for their kids' graduation.  Gather up anyone you think can help Wade and the others," Ron said.  "Wade, you get the twins.  Someone needs to get Zita and Felix"

"On it," Bonnie said.

"Penny, I need you to find Kim's cousin Joss.  She wears mission clothes as her street clothes, her hair is darker than Kim's, she's about the same age as the twins and Wade."

"I'll get Larry," Ron said after everyone had left the room on their various assignments.

* * *

Most of the people were gathered in the gym.  When Ron got there to start to look for Larry she thought of  something, "Oh, snap!"

"Isn't that a Drakken line?" Ron spun at the voice and saw Alex.  She was carrying a clipboard, helping with the checking the names of everyone known to be in attendance at the ceremony against those they could verify were safe.

Ron shrugged, "We all sort of rub off on one another."

"What's wrong?" Alex asked.

"I need to record a message," Ron said. "Two messages actually."

"Is audio only ok?"


Alex handed Ron her mp3 player.

"Thanks," Ron said.  "Do you know where Larry Possible is?"  Alex pointed and Ron said, "Thanks again."

* * *

"Hey," Ron said to Larry.

"Hey," Larry responded flatly.  There were a lot of things he could deal with without trouble.  An actual alien invasion was not one of them.  He had taken to pretending it was one of his games to take the edge off, but if it were a game there would be something he could do.  He was helpless.  Eventually all of the emotions, even the bad ones, had drained away.

"Is the robot rumble still active?" Ron asked.


"The competitors would probably be there right now, right?"


"Do any of the tunnels connect to the high school?"


"Then I have a mission for you Imperial Senator Bernilus."

Larry did perk up at the use of his code name, but just a bit.  He asked, "What?"

"There are giant robots out there tearing apart our homes; go to the rumble and see if you can get some robots to fight on our side."

Larry nodded.  Then he finally graced Ron with a response of more than a single syllable, "Without power, it'll take forever to get there."

"It's a save the world thing, Larry," Ron said.  "Scenario 21.  If you can get the help, it'll be worth the time."

* * *

"How is it going Ronda?" Ann Possible asked.

"Considering the situation, pretty well," Ron said.  "We're trying to make sure this place is protected before we go after Kim."

"James told me," Ann Possible said.  "Kim would have wanted you to."

"I was thinking you might be able to help with that."

"Someone need brain surgery?"

"I remember you being pretty good at welding.  There's no way we would have stopped the Little Diablo scheme without you."

"It's a nice thought, but someone has to watch all of these people," Ann. Possible gestured to the students, parents, and family that had gathered for the graduation.  "Most people aren't as used to this kind of thing as we are."

"I understand," Ron said, then she left the gym. 

* * *

When Ron returned to the classroom that had become their defacto headquarters, Jim, Tim, Wade, Justine, Bonnie, Monique, Felix, and Zita were already there.  Mr. Dr. Possible was still rounding up the adult scientists.  Penny had yet to return with Joss.

Jim, Tim, Wade, and Justine were off by themselves, discussing things Ron couldn't make out.

"Are they working on defenses?" Ron asked.

"Yup," Bonnie said.

"Zita," Ron said, "you're great at magic in Everlot, have you ever wanted to try the real thing?"

"The real thing?" Zita asked, clearly confused.

"It's just like in the game --in fact it's just like a game-- lots of rules, archaic tomes, esoteric requirements, high risk if you mess up, and magic words."

It seemed like Zita wanted to make a sarcastic reply, but didn't end up saying anything.  She just gave a look.

"Miss Hatchet opened an inter-dimensional portal with no idea that the thing she was saying was even a spell in the first place," Ron said. "Someone who could understand the rules of Everlot, even just the basic ones that involved not dying, should be fine."  After a pause she added, "Just don't, you know, say anything out loud until you know what you're doing."

Penny came in the room with Joss at her side.  Ron waved to them.

"What would I have to do?" Zita asked.

"The book you'll want is in the secret vault under the school library, Wade can talk you though cracking the three layers of security, now--"

"Why is there a secret vault under the school library?" Zita asked.

For a moment all were silent.  Then everyone but Joss, including Zita herself, said, "It's Middleton," in unison.  Some said it with pride.  For others it was more of a groan.

"There's no inventory in the vault and really no sorting system, and the book you want has no identifying marks on the outside, so before you go in the vault you're going to want to get this book." Ron took out a small notebook --since she got a job on the school paper, she always kept one with her-- quickly wrote out a call number, ripped out the page, and gave it to Zita.  "The book isn't important, it's just 'A Brief History of Cheese', but it has the misfortune of looking exactly the same as the book you'll want to pull from the vault."

"Ok," Zita said, "get the cheese book, break into the vault, find the book that looks like the cheese book, study that book until I know what I'm doing, and then what?"

"Command the phantom monkeys to protect us from the alien war machines," Ron said in a way that seemed more like a request not to be yelled at than an answer.

"And Wade will tell me how to get into the vault." Zita said.

"Yup," Ron confirmed.  Then Ron turned to Penny and asked, "Think you can provide air support?"

"If I can get there," Penny said.  Ron detected a touch of impatience in her voice and maybe some annoyance at the question being asked.

"How long do you think you can hold out?" Ron asked. "These things may prefer to smash things, but they've got those disintegration rays too so you will be under fire."

"I should be good for a while, the twins installed a shield based off the one in Kim's supersuit."

That caused heated discussion between the twins and Wade.  Wade didn't appreciate people looking at his top secret designs.

A few attempts were made to get them to calm down, but it was Bonnie who got through, "GUYS!  This is not the time."

Ron wrote an address in her notebook, tore out the page, and gave it to Felix, "Can you get her," she said, pointing at Penny, "To this--"

"Hey," Penny said.  "At least introduce us first."

Ron stood back, "Felix, Penny.  Penny, Felix.  Felix, can you safely get Penny to that address?"

"Easier than I can beat you in Zombie Mayhem," Felix said.

"You're sure?" Ron asked.  "You've seen the things that are out there right?"

"I'm sure," Felix said, and turned around so the back of his wheelchair was facing Penny.  "Hop on."

Penny studied it for a moment before figuring out how one was supposed to 'hop on.'  She eventually realized that a bar near the bottom could be used as a footrest, while one where near the top of the seat-back could be used as a hand hold.  By the time Penny got on, Zita had surprised Felix with a hug.  As soon as the hug ended Felix sped away with Penny.

Zita went over to get advice from Wade on cracking the vault.

Ron turned to Joss.  "Think you're up for saving the world?"

"You got it," Joss said.

Ron started scribbling something else in her notebook.  "There's a very special car... SUV actually.  Her name is SADI.  She's artificially intelligent, self driving, and she has disintegrator ray the size of a cannon."

"You think the disintegrator ray will help?" Joss asked.

"It couldn't hurt," Ron said.  "Just ... be careful.  I don't exactly feel good about sending a twelve year old out under these conditions," in fact Ron considered the possibility she might be going to Hell for it, "but I've seen your moves, and you are a Possible."

"I can do it," Joss said.

"I know you can."

As soon as Joss was out of earshot, Monique asked, "Easiest mission?"

Ron nodded but then said, "It still would be safer to have kept her here."

"What have you got for us, Ronnie?" Bonnie asked.

"You've been going on about how you're just as good as Kim since middle school, and you've been on a mission with her so you've got a pretty good idea of what it's like when she's in mission mode.  Is it true Bon-Bon, are you on her level?"

"Stoppable," she said, with a hard edge in her voice and an unstated threat behind it.

"Because if you're not there is no way I'm sending you out to do this."

"Whatever the mission, Ronnie, I can handle it," Bonnie said.

"I need you to deliver a message," Ron said.

"That's it?" Monique asked before Bonnie could respond herself.

"Not on a rocket powered scooter, not with the help of Felix's flying combat-ready chair, and definitely not a short distance like Joss," Ron said.  "I need someone to get to the other side of Middleton... the outskirts of the other side of Middleton, probably on foot."

"Where and who?" Bonnie asked.

"You'll love it," Ron said with obvious sarcasm.  "It's degrading, disgusting, dirty, and involving things that even Kim can't cope with."

"Sounds wonderful Ronnie," Bonnie said.  "Where do I go, who do I deliver the message to, and what is the message."

"You're going to the dump,"

"Great," Bonnie said, the sarcasm slathered on thick.

Ron pulled out Alex's mp3 player.  "I wanted things to be simple you'll need to play two files so I named the first one R-1 and the second one R-2."

"Ronda One, Ronda Two?" Bonnie asked.

"Sure, why not?" Ron said.  "Play the first one until he comes.  You'll know it's him because he's a lot smaller than the others, about this big," Ron indicated a size in the range of large house cat/small dog.  "Once he's there, play R-2 and he should recruit the big ones to our side.  It'll be nice to have some giants working for us."

"Giant what?" Bonnie asked. "Who am I giving this message to?"

"I think it's better if you don't know," Ron said, "and remember, if you don't freak out, you'll have done something even Kim couldn't do."

"Ronnie, you're starting to piss me off," Bonnie said.

"Just remember, save the world and prove you're better than Kim," Ron said.

Bonnie growled, but got ready to leave.

"I'm going with you," Monique said.

Ron objected, "Mo, you've been on, like, one mission."

"Same as Bonnie," Monique said.

"She's an athlete," Ron said.

"And what were you when you and Kim started?" Monique asked.

"Someone those things out there would tear apart," Ron said.

"I am not letting my girlfriend do this alone," Monique said, "You said it was the most dangerous mission you've given out, she's going to need help."

Ron looked at the determination in Monique's eyes and realized that she couldn't be talked out of it, so she simply grabbed Monique in a hug and, "Stay safe."

They disengaged and Bonnie and Monique were about to leave when Ron said, "Wait.  I meant to ask this when everyone was still here, but I never got around to it.  Can either of you think of any way that a magic sword or about a dozen monkey ninjas could possibly be useful in this situation?"

Monique and Bonnie just looked at each other.

Ron sighed, "That's what I figured.  Good luck."

* * *

The adult scientists had joined Tim, Jim, Wade, and Justine in planning unconventional defenses against the alien war machines.  Several other people had skills that were being put to use in constructing the school's defenses.

Ron and Mr. Doctor Possible were ready to head to the Middleton Space Center.

Ron had promised to stop by to see Tara before they left, and James Possible wanted to see Ann Possible.  So the two of them headed back to the gym.

* * *

Mrs Stoppable finished double checking the various lists: Graduation Students, Staff, Family, photographers.  Then she reported, "Okey Doke, everyone is accounted for."

"And handling the crisis well," Ann responded.

It was at this moment that Mr. Barkin reached one of the loud stages of his breakdown.  Crying out and just plain crying.

Ann Possible watched as her mother-in-law approached the teacher.

"Now, just listen to Nana.  These kids need to see adults who are brave and strong."

"You want me to pull myself together?" Barkin asked.

"No, I want you hide in the nurse's office until this whole business blows over."

Even though she thought it was a bit harsh, Ann couldn't help but smile at her mother-in-law's method of dealing with the situation.

She was pulled away from thinking about that by Alex and Tara.

"Mrs. Doctor Possible," Alex said.

"Now that we've finished the headcount," Tara said.

"And patched up any scrapes and whatnot," Alex said.  Ann reflected on that.

It had been a relief to find that there hadn't been any major wounds.  The injuries were all minor and had been caused by the panic, not the attack.  If anything it seemed like the invasion was going out of its way to spare people and instead attacking infrastructure and buildings.

Then she noticed the teens staring at her expectantly.

"Sorry, I spaced out for a moment," Ann Possible said.

"What do we do now?" Tara asked, Ann assumed Tara was repeating something she had asked before.

"I'm not sure," Ann admitted.  "It's not good for everyone to be cooped up in here with nothing to do but think about what's going on outside.  Do you girls have any ideas on how to keep people's minds occupied?"

"I think I know where the Chess Club keeps supplies," Tara ventured.

"I could scrounge around for CDs and play them over the school's PA system," Alex said.

"Those are great ideas," Ann told the girls.  "Do it."

* * *

The garage had been smashed half open, so Joss went right in.

"Um, hello.  I've been sent here to find a car named Sadi."

"Who are you?" a voice asked.

"I'm Joss Posssible, Kim's cousin.  Ron Stoppable sent me," Joss said.

A car pulled forward out of the darkness, "I'm Sadie," the car said.

Joss explained how Kim had been abducted, survivors were taking shelter in the high school, and the alien war machines were immune to conventional weapons.

Sadi told Joss to get in --Joss took the driver's seat-- and said that her disintegrater ray was unconventional.

* * *

Felix landed his chair in the ruins of Timothy North's mansion.  After a bit of rubble searching Penny found the entrance to the Ferret Hole.

The two found Mr. North waiting for them in cavernous lair.

"I know the rules about letting people in here," Penny said, "but I wouldn't have made it here with out him, he's a hero in his own right, and Stoppable vouched for him."

Before Mr. North had a chance to respond, something clicked in Felix.  "You're the Fearless Ferret!" he shouted.  Ron's love for the show had rubbed on on Felix as well.

"Correction, I was the Fearless Ferret," Mr. North said.  "Now, she is," he said pointing at Penny.

Felix looked around the Ferret Hole. "So you really did spend your savings bring the stuff from the show to life?" he asked.

Mr. North nodded.  "I spent a long time in my own world.  After I reconnected with reality, it seemed like it was a waste not to put the things I had built to good use."

"The gadgets and vehicles worked like they did in the show when he built them," Penny said.  "For more than three years Kim's brothers have been upgrading everything."

Felix's eyes widened.  "No wonder Ron thought it was so important to get you here."

Penny turned to Mr. North, "I'm taking out the Ferret Flier, can you stay here and direct me to where I'm most needed."

Mr. North nodded.

"Felix," Penny asked, "can you help?"

"Sure," Felix said, rolling up to the main computer terminal.

* * *

I forgot to show Larry arriving at his destination, so I wrote that up here.

* * *

"So," Bonnie said, "we're at the dump."

She and Monique were worn out.  They'd been scraped and slashed at.  They'd narrowly dodged disintegration rays and come close to being crushed by the mammoth legs of the war machines so many times they lost count.

"Yeah," Monique said as she caught her breath.  "We're at the dump."

"Stoppable better be right about this being worth it."

"I'm more worried about what it is that we're going to find here," Monique said with a shudder.

"Apparently giants, but giant what?"

"Remember the thing with the zombie snowmen?"

Bonnie put the first message, which seemed like nonsense, on repeat and started to chant, "Please don't let it be toxic monsters made out of living trash, please don't let it be trash monsters, please don't let it be trash monsters, please don't let it..."

At first, nothing seemed to happen, then "Ahh!" Monique screamed.  "Look at the size of that thing!"

While she didn't find the giant cockroach particularly endearing, Bonnie did not panic.  Instead she evaluated the size of it and judged it to be about the same size as Stoppable had said "he" would be.  She played the second message.

The giant cockroach looked up at her, gave her a salute with one of its forelimbs, and turned to the dump.  It made some sort of animated speech in cockroach, and suddenly massive piles of garbage began to stir.  The "giant" cockroach the size of a small dog was nothing compared to the beasts that responded to its call.

The smaller ones were the size of cars.  The larger ones were as buildings.

"Ok," Bonnie said, "she was right about them being giant."

"This is so wrong," Monique said. "And sick.  Wrongsick.  Sick and wrong."

One of the behemoths, about as long as a bus, approached the two young women and the dog sized cockroach, then settled into the garbage in front of them.  The dog sized roach climbed on its back and motioned for the humans to do the same.

Monique was petrified, but Bonnie walked forward with a crooked smile on her face.  She helped Monique along and told her, "Just remind yourself that we're saving the world here."

Three minutes and thirty five seconds later the roach army made its first contact with the alien war machines.

* * *

Zita looked over her notes a final time.  She'd employed a strategy that helped with word problems in math: translate into a language you know.  For her it was game stats.  She'd also used the same for cooking; it had been Ron's idea to not think of a recipe as a way to make, for example, cake in reality, but instead as a potion to be brewed in Everlot.

She then did a final check of critical points in the book to make sure that she hadn't had any transcription errors when creating her notes.

She took a deep breath, held it for a second, and then let it out.

She reminded herself that the entire world was in jeopardy, and then spoke the incantation summon the phantom monkey army.

A purple vortex shot upward, obliterating the library roof then stretching beyond sight, and from it came giant red figures with glowing yellow eyes.  Their upper-bodies like those of monkeys, save for their mouths that were nothing but sharp ethereal teeth surrounding gaping maws.  Their lower bodies lacked form, like flame they flickered and transformed and never ceased to change.

To these, Zita gave two commands: protect earth life; destroy the alien war machines.

* * *
The battle of Middleton had begun.



  1. I fear that I don't know enough about Kim Possible to follow the story easily.

    That said:

    "Now, just listen to Nana. These kids need to see adults who are brave and strong."

    "You want me to pull myself together?" Barkin asked.

    "No, I want you hide in the nurse's office until this whole business blows over."

    ...is pretty funny. :)

    1. Unfortunately, that's not one of mine. That comes straight from the actual episode. Part of the less than two minutes worth of stuff that happens.


      As for not really getting it, I'd never have set out to write it without writing what comes before because of course you don't get it. It just sort of popped out of my head more or less fully formed.

      The plot of the series finale makes no sense, and that sort of thing calls out for rewriting. That said, that call crossed with the idea of not having a reset button, which means that there's a lot of stuff that calls back to things.

      Just one example:

      The Fearless Ferret is an episode that's in large part a shout out to Batman.

      Instead of Mr. West dressing up in a Bat Suit, Mr. North dressed up in a ferret suit. The show was supposed to be every bit the campy silliness of West's real world Batman.

      The route the episode takes is having North lose the ability to tell fiction from reality and actually constructing all the crime fighting devices from the show (which, because we're talking about a cartoon, actually work in the real world the same way the did in the show) then it has Ron take up the mantle of the the Fearless Ferret (it's a call back to Batman Beyond) until at the end they realize that North had lost touch with reality.

      What do our crimefighters do when they find an entire base of operations for crime fighting full of crime fighting gizmos? Never speak of it again.

      But if you didn't have a reset button, they'd probably put at least some of that stuff to at least some use. And, on the off chance they considered themselves above such things, they'd probably be willing to stoop to using it in the case of a full scale alien invasion.

      So it's not really surprising it's incomprehensible. I tried to make it so you'd at least understand what was going on in the broad strokes ("we have awakened the giant cockroach army" doesn't really require you to know where the giant cockroach army comes from) but it's not surprising it fell flat.

    2. Ah, sorry. It felt like your kind of gag.


      I should be clear: it's not incomprehensible. To use your same example: I didn't know The Fearless Ferret was an allusion to Batman, but I picked up on the Galaxy-Quest-esque fake-made-real backstory to it. I don't have a problem joining in the middle of the story, either - I enjoyed the 1987 Masters of the Universe movie when I watched it as a kid, and I'd never seen any of the show. What made this so difficult for me was just the wall-to-wall "here's something from a previous episode" nature of it...

      ...which seems to have been your point, writing it. That there was a lot of stuff in previous episodes that should still exist.

  2. And I just realized that I never picked up on Cousin Larry going to the robot fight club. Damn.

    I'll probably write a post on that before I forget what I was going to do.

  3. Awesome story, Chris! Can't wait to see where it goes from there!

  4. I've seen only one episode of Kim Possible, and that quite a while ago, but I could follow the story. My main difficulty was in keeping track of the characters, without much to tell who any of them were. I still enjoyed the story a lot, and it seems like the set-up for a great finale, that (if I'm understanding correctly) was not actually used, which is definitely a pity, since I love it when all the one-off episodes are remembered and important in the ending. I especially liked, and I'm not sure if this is part of the show or not, the fact that Ron, while having magical powers, was actually most useful not because of those powers, but because she had organizational and leadership skills, so she got everyone organized and then went off to do the rescue mission where her individual skills would be helpful (I think? That part wasn't quite clear). Anyway, I liked the protagonist being, not the most powerful person, but the one who could work out how to put everyone else's skills to their best use.
    (Also, there seems to be a typo, where Ron apparently named both of her messages R-1.)