Friday, July 12, 2013

My financial situation and donations

Originally this was going to be just one part of a multiple topic post but it got big and long and megalithic.

I mentioned on another site that financially things are bad and I should probably ask for money online being largely out of other options but I feel kind of bad about it because online people already came through for me when I was unable to pay for my medication without me even asking and now I'd be asking for more.  Since I said that two people have used the donate button here to help me out.  Thank you.

In theory no matter how bad things get food is assured to me, so it's not like I'd go hungry.  Housing is another question wrapped up with family.  Which is both good and bad.  Good because it means I can afford housing, where otherwise I might not, bad because straight answers are impossible.  Despite my best efforts I haven't even been able to disentangle the various things involved in the house, vital things like heat and water get tossed in with TV, internet, electricity (which is actually vital since the heating system requires it) and probably other stuff.

So I can't say, I need this much to stay online, or I need that much to keep the heat on, or whatever because it's all tangled up in me giving money to a member of my family for the right to stay in the house rather than be kicked out in preparation for it being sold.  A member of my family who is increasingly saying ominous things about what I'm paying not really being enough to justify the whole me living here thing.

And then there's dentistry.  The root canal was solved but the solution left the tooth in a fragile state and it needs a crown to top it off to make sure that the tooth doesn't start to fall apart again.  Why they couldn't do that in the same operation as the root canal I have no idea.

The previous dentistry predated insurance and came close to wiping out my savings.  The upcoming dentistry might be greater than my savings in which case I'll have no money and be in debt to the person who is already saying I'm not paying them enough.

So, yeah...

And then there's university.  My mental health support is through the university.  The psychologist is on staff there, the psychiatrist is paid by them (and doesn't take the insurance I now have) if I can't pay for next semester I need to start over with new people.  I need to do that at some point anyway but later would seem better because we're making fucking progress, more than anyone has in the past.  If I could stay one more year (two more semesters) I think that I'd be much better equipped to face the world outside of university than if I had to stop now.

But there's this problem of I've been there so long and attempted (but not passed) more than an arbitrary number of credits and that means that, though everything else checks out, I'm not eligible for financial aid.  Since I could graduate, twice over, I have no compelling case to make for an exception meaning I'll need to somehow pay for it out of pocket, my pockets are basically empty.

(The really fucking annoying thing, if I had simply not taken the classes I failed for mental health reasons I wouldn't be above the "tried to many" number.)

Money is a problem if I want a place to stay and the heat water and electricity that implies.
Money is a problem if I want to stay online.
Money is a problem if I want to have teeth.
Money is a problem if I want to stay with the team that's managed to help me after a decade of assorted doctors and therapists failed to accomplish a damn thing.

Money, it is a problem.  And so I thank those who donated and any who choose to do so in the future.

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