Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Random life lessons

Just because you picked up what you came to the store for, and you put everything you'd gathered on the conveyor belt at the register, doesn't mean what you came to the store for actually made it to the register.  It could have been dropped.  Gremlins could have gotten it.  Double check.

No matter how parched your throat, no matter how dehydrated your body, no matter how true it is that that the blood in your veins has been reduced to dust, it is a mistake to get a gallon of orange juice to drink between now and half an hour from now when you hope to catch a bus.  Just get half a gallon.

Shoelaces and a sewing kit should be part of what you bring with you at all times, because otherwise whenever you have time to make use of such in wardrobe repair, you will invariably be away from where you store them.

Brand name batteries are fucking worth it.  Rechargeables moreso because some things (especially potentially broken things) will suck the juice out of generic batteries so fast you'll think you accidentally put the dead ones back in.

Absent proper tools, glasses repair can be satisfactorily accomplished using twisty ties from a bread bag.  For proper aesthetics be sure to strip the plastic coating and use only the metal core.

If you look up at the movie and think this might be the computer animated story of a redheaded girl/woman with punk pigtails who participates in seedy robot fights... you got your hopes up for nothing.  This story isn't about that.

Flea infestations are never defeated.  They are either under control or out of control, but once they've got a foothold --unless you can take off and nuke the site from orbit-- they're there to stay and the only course of action is constant vigilance.  Constant.  Any slip ups and you'll see how fast under control can turn to out of control which is, in fact, practically synonymous with "Completely fucking overrun."


Not a lesson, but I didn't pray to make it to the bus on time.  I prayed that the partially albino crow that seemed unable to fly and to have a slight limp would get better.  I don't think that was the wrong prayer.  I do wonder if it would have been better to give up on the bus completely, capture the crow, and get in contact with someone who could make sure it was safe until it healed.  It would have terrified the crow, I was already exhausted, I wouldn't know who to contact or how to contact them, and so forth, but we are talking about a life.  So maybe I should have tried that.

On the other hand, the crow clearly wanted to be left alone and there weren't exactly predators waiting to close in.  It may well be able to take care of itself until it is healed, which is what the prayer was about.

I didn't make it to the bus on time, but if my actual prayer does get answered and the crow is in fact able to stay safe, get healed, and live a fulfilling life from here on out, I think that's better than me making the bus.


A washing machine isn't something you would expect to underappreciate when you have it given that every time you use the damn thing you're not having to wash the clothes by hand.  However when it's gone the blow will be far larger than you expected.

When dealing with the insides of an appliance, wear gloves.  On the outside sharp corners are avoided because consumers are expected to interact with the outside.  On the inside things you would never think of associating with "sharp" can slice you deep and fast.

It is not enough to have have band aids on hand.  One must have the right type of band aids on hand.  Or, failing that, sterile pads and some form of tape.

Always be willing to consider the possibility that the reason things seem unusually difficult today is that you forgot to take your medicine.


Things and stuff.

Stuff and things.

[Words go here, in theory.]


  1. Many wise lessons there.

    Can I contribute one?

    If you have 5 minutes before you need to do something, and you stop to do a 2 minute task before the something, the 2 minute task will actually take 10 minutes.

  2. I hope the albino crow makes it, too.

  3. Failing twist ties, paperclips.

    Things that suddenly stop working are worse than things that you didn't have. Fridges, washing machines, cookers, computers.