Sunday, November 22, 2015

I am entirely out of screwdrivers.

Before we get to the meat of the post, let me first say that by some odd confluence of events probably at least semi-related to me looking for screwdrivers (and finding none) my email happened to open a message from Novemeber 29th, 2013 (I get notified whenever anyone makes a comment, you see):
I also think you are a good thing. I've been struggling with some of these issues myself and trying not to sink into hopelessness. [...] So I'm feeling hopeful and would like to offer through the internet to share it, if that is helpful to you.
Surprisingly helpful.  Thanks, Kay.  If you're still around.

Anyway, once my house overflowed with screwdrivers, big ones, little ones, flathead, Phillips (no apostrophe, the name includes the terminal "s", though you'd think there ought to be one anyway: Phillips') interchangeable ones where the heads were in a circle around the shaft, four ways were you could pull out the head, flip it, put it back in, or do the same thing with the entire shaft and then, possibly with the previously hidden heads, weird ones where someone actually thought it was a good idea to have the heads loose in a hollow cavity inside the grip and then have the grip twist off to get at them, really, really little ones, big ones, screw driving drill heads, all sorts of fucking screwdrivers.

Just recently I had a glasses sized one (not for my glasses, those are held together with twisty ties) and one of the four way ones in this very room and I cannot find either.

It's not actually why I was looking for a screwdriver at the present moment, but the parts that will almost certainly not fix the washing machine (but I don't know what else to try) have come and I need to be able to deal with screws to bring about the inevitiable failure.

This is poor form.  Very poor form.  Especially since (almost) every other part of a melted toolkit (it was too close the stove, the case is made of plastic, these thing happen) is sitting right next to the pieces I will need to use screwdrivers on, in the toolbox mostly where they belong, yet not one of the (I think) three screwdrivers are in evidence.
Tomorrow I'm going to have to get some screwdrivers and possibly screw extractors depending on the luck I have with dealing with the rusted to hell crap screws, which are in the way and stripped, tonight and tomorrow morning.

Also some wood and I think I need to make a

*searches the internet for ages*

fucking hell, I don't even know what it's called.  Good thing I'm thinking of making one instead of buying one.

Anyway, I am completely out of screwdrivers.

Imagine it said like this:


  1. When I was still working for ISPs, I'd often have to go to some mostly-unpopulated data centre to do maintenance. This would need screwdrivers. In this terribly highly secure building, where every door except the ones into the toilets needed you to present a key-card before it would open, if you left a screwdriver unattended for five minutes it would vanish. (This is why I started carrying a Leatherman tool, because I could just stick that back on my belt.) Spools of cable, too, and anything else vaguely portable.

    There are obvious explanations, but I prefer to think of the under-floor-tile goblins building their own civilisation and network infrastructure from our leavings.

  2. I found the tiny glasses sized flat head. Take that, losing things.