Friday, September 30, 2011

Snarky Twilight - Van Scene

[Note that this is before I went to the original text and read every word myself, it isn't entirely accurate as a result.  Also note that this is the post that started Snarky Twilight.]

Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, Edward hit me, hard.
Bella: (She's in real pain, but this is as much an expression of disapproval as pain, she draws the word out when she speaks it): Ow.
Edward: Quiet, I'm trying to save you.
Bella: I get that, but did you have bounce my head off the pavement like a basketball?
Edward: I'm saving you, shut up.
Bella: If you're saving me how come we're still in the path of the van?
Edward: Because this way I get to show off my inhuman powers.
Bella: You already did that just by getting to me so quickly.
Edward: I was right next to you.
Bella: Were not.
Edward: Was too.
Bella: (fed up, pointing) Van.
Two long, white hands shot out protectively in front of me, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body.
Bella: We're on slippery ice, why didn't we go flying backwards?
Edward: My foot is on your truck.
I turned to see a giant dent in my truck, Edward's left foot planted directly in the middle of it.
Bella: (Sarcastic) Great.

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