It's been a while, clearly, and I just . . . I don't know what to say here really. Things seem to be looking up. Every time that things seemed to be looking up since mid February 2017, it turned out to be nothing more than false hope.
On the "not bad news" front, a hang up with my foodstamps that's been ongoing for several months has been cleared up. I have food, and that's always a good thing. (Depression and all the other problems are made rather worse by being under-nourished.)
I'm also, for the first time in a long time, not going to be working myself to utter exhaustion in order to help my sister almost constantly. (I never really did an exact count, but it was more than every other day, but less than every day.)
My mother loaned me the money necessary to buy a new computer, which is what I'm using right now, so that rather improves a great many things too.
I said I was going to talk about the possible future, though.
Here's something that I need to do: beg for money. Possibly also stuff, but probably just money to pay bills and money to buy stuff.
I hate doing that. I feel sleazy and . . . and something I can't quite put into words. It's like cheap, or devalued, or something, but not the same as any of them.
(Ways to give me money:)
(paypal.me/ChrisTheCynic for a one time thing.)
(Patreon for doing it on a monthly basis.)
I'd like to return to the Kim Possible deconstruction, which stalled out one post into the attempt to reboot it.
The two other decons I'd like to return to, but it's definitely in a less immediate more "someday" sense.
I have, I think, four stories prominently on my mind.
Two are because a couple months ago I was reading Teen Titans fanfic and saw some trends I wanted departures from. One is because I read a My Little Pony Fanfic that my mind rebelled enough to construct and entirely original setting and the outline of a story in that setting. Another is a theoretically upcoming subplot of one of the Equestria Girls fics I've been trying (and largely failing) to write.
These stories boil down to:
I've thought about doing "let's play"s for games but there are some problems with this: I know nothing about how such things are done, I'm not sure I have anything interesting to say, I'm insecure about my voice.
Regarding the last point, my voice sort of broadcasts a sense of "dude" and that's not exactly something I'm happy about.
Part of the reason that I've been thinking about this as a possibility is that one thing that's been helping to fill the void, so to speak, is gaming. Depression and such can be more bearable when immersed in another world. (Part of why I'm not sure if I could ever pull it off, all else aside, is that I tend to only have commentary when I have someone to talk to in person.)
On the "not bad news" front, a hang up with my foodstamps that's been ongoing for several months has been cleared up. I have food, and that's always a good thing. (Depression and all the other problems are made rather worse by being under-nourished.)
I'm also, for the first time in a long time, not going to be working myself to utter exhaustion in order to help my sister almost constantly. (I never really did an exact count, but it was more than every other day, but less than every day.)
My mother loaned me the money necessary to buy a new computer, which is what I'm using right now, so that rather improves a great many things too.
I said I was going to talk about the possible future, though.
⁂
Here's something that I need to do: beg for money. Possibly also stuff, but probably just money to pay bills and money to buy stuff.
I hate doing that. I feel sleazy and . . . and something I can't quite put into words. It's like cheap, or devalued, or something, but not the same as any of them.
(Ways to give me money:)
(paypal.me/ChrisTheCynic for a one time thing.)
(Patreon for doing it on a monthly basis.)
⁂
I'd like to return to the Kim Possible deconstruction, which stalled out one post into the attempt to reboot it.
The two other decons I'd like to return to, but it's definitely in a less immediate more "someday" sense.
~
I have, I think, four stories prominently on my mind.
Two are because a couple months ago I was reading Teen Titans fanfic and saw some trends I wanted departures from. One is because I read a My Little Pony Fanfic that my mind rebelled enough to construct and entirely original setting and the outline of a story in that setting. Another is a theoretically upcoming subplot of one of the Equestria Girls fics I've been trying (and largely failing) to write.
These stories boil down to:
- Girl learns that her allegedly-exclusive boyfriend is dating someone else. After kicking boyfriend out of their lives, girl and other girlfriend get to know each other. They start dating.
- "Wait, I wasn't trying to steal anyone's body! How do I give this thing back‽"
- Two young equines, a unicorn and a Pegasus, navigate a hellscape of prolonged famine and post-revolution ethnic cleansing.
- Two homeless kids, one of whom passes for rich, improve their lives through the art of two person cons.
~
I've thought about doing "let's play"s for games but there are some problems with this: I know nothing about how such things are done, I'm not sure I have anything interesting to say, I'm insecure about my voice.
Regarding the last point, my voice sort of broadcasts a sense of "dude" and that's not exactly something I'm happy about.
Part of the reason that I've been thinking about this as a possibility is that one thing that's been helping to fill the void, so to speak, is gaming. Depression and such can be more bearable when immersed in another world. (Part of why I'm not sure if I could ever pull it off, all else aside, is that I tend to only have commentary when I have someone to talk to in person.)
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