Monday, June 30, 2014

Why human beings are created with the materials that are close to home

In the mythologies I'm familiar with, human beings tend to be made with what is locally available.  In a region with a lot of dirt?  People are made from dirt.  Got a lot of rocks?  People are made from rocks.  Surrounded by trees?  People are made from wood.

There's a reason for this, and it doesn't have to do with the deity/deities making people as it does with their underlings.

You see, no angel wants this:

Are you sure you don't want to tell him?  He likes you. ... Ok, fine.  I'll tell him. 
Greetings most high one, God of gods, host of hosts, you are truly divine and holy, holy, holy, holy, holyholyholy.  Blessings be upon your name.  Now ... um.  About the people ingredients shipment.  It's... uh.  Well, it's like this: 
The shipment from the rain forest kind of sank. 
I know you've been waiting for it.  I know how much you wanted it, but it's a long way away and we haven't exactly invented the shipping industry yet, and there were waves and there was lightning and such and ... it's now at the bottom of one of those oceans you made in your wisdom. 
It's nobody's fault really, I mean it's not like we can control the weather.  Well, the people in atmospherics probably can and Joe's been telling me about all kinds of things but no one in the person making department can control the weather and the ship sank. 
I don't know what we're going to do now.  You are the omnicient one, I was thinking you'd have an idea. 
Well, look, I know you wanted to get this whole thing done in a week, but do you think maybe you could push the creation of humanity to next week?  Maybe take a nap, give us some time to requisition a new shipment of supplies. 
Can I go now most awe inspiring one who definitely wouldn't smite the messenger?


  1. That's a fun story.

    If Creator worked in my cube farm then humans would be made from erasers and push-pins, because that's what the supply clerk has and we can't put in an order for new supplies until next month.

  2. I laughed delightedly all over again reading this.

    Also I eagerly await a story of the civilization created by DawnM and co-workers. Would the people be really small? Or would you just need A LOT of push-pins and erasers? (Alot of erasers...)

  3. Hmm. Humans are created from stuff that fell from the sky?

    (Catching up after holiday.)