Kim rushed out the door, hopped into the back the car that was waiting --Place thought she recognized it as belonging to someone Kim had helped find a lost dog-- and was gone. She never looked back; she never looked up. She didn't see Place standing on the roof above the doorway.
Place considered running up the slanted roof, dropping down onto the second story deck, and then making her way inside from there. It would achieve a moment's fun --running on rooftops was always good for a quick pick-me-up-- and it was a way that Kim had never entered the house, but sometimes simple approaches were best.
She wanted to meet with her family, not make them feel insecure about their easy-to-break-into home. They only finished rebuilding a few months ago, after all. Let them think they were safe for a while. If the past few years had been any indication it would be in need of major reconstruction soon anyway.
She flipped down from her perch and entered the house through the front door.
* * *
Ann looked up from the table at the sound of someone entering the room. She didn't immediately register that her daughter was wearing different clothes than the ones she had rushed out in moments before.
“Kim?” She asked. “Did you forget something? When you left it seemed urgent.”
“Yeah,” the young woman said, “about that... I'm not Kim.”
For a moment there was complete silence.
* * *
James never looked up from his paper as he said, “You're going to have to explain that young lady. You certainly sound like Kim.”
“I'm a clone created from Kim's genetic material who happens to have Kim's memories from before said genetic material was harvested for reasons that are unknown but assumed to involve magic or something equally scientifically implausible.”
“That's interesting,” James said.
“Honey, as a neurosurgeon--” Ann said.
“Mom, before you say whatever completely reasonable thing it is I'm sure you're about to say,” the Kim who claimed to be not-Kim said, “I ask that you remember the mind switching sitch.”
“She does have a point,” Jame said. There was only one thing that was bothering him about this situation, and it had nothing to do with scientific possibility. He was about to ask about it, when the girl responded to his concern unprompted.
“No, dad, there weren't any boys involved,” the young woman said. “I was created at the request of Kim's arch nemesis, Shego, who is definitely not a boy.
“Which brings me to the last thing that I think I have to get out in the open before we can start a genuine conversation: in the time since I was created I've been staying at a secret lair with a couple of super-villians and their employees.” Finished speaking she sat in Kim's spot at the table.
* * *
* * *
The conversation went rather well, Place thought. It would take her a while to start thinking of herself as 'Leela', but she hadn't been 'Place' all that long so she figured it would work out. There was only one, completely expected, problem.
“You really plan on going back to living with a gang of criminals?” her mother asked.
“It's not a gang, it's a vaguely organized paramilitary security force whose primary job is to protect a compound, containing labs and living quarters, which happens to be overseen by someone dad made fun of in college.”
Shego called ahead to let Place know when Kim was on her way back, so Place wrapped up the conversation and said her good-byes while asking her family to let her break the news to Kim when she was ready. She wasn't entirely sure when she'd be ready.
Her mother followed her to the door. “Are you going back to the lair?” she asked.
“No,” Place said. “I'm going to see Wade and have him check me over for any mind control or behavioral modification.”
“I thought you said you trusted them.”
“I did and I do. But I think 'Trust, but verify' is a good strategy here.”
“That does seem smart,” her mother said. “And after Wade?”
“I've got some stuff to figure out on my own,” Place said. “I don't fully understand the process that created me yet. I would very much like to.” Place paused and thought a moment, “Depending on where that takes me I might stop in to see Nana, Joss ... even Larry. Regardless, after that I'm going back to the lair.”
[previous][Being more than a Simulacrum Index][Next]
So far Place thought that things were
going very well, the timing of the evil scheme had obviously been
perfect since Kim had left without touching her food leaving a full
plate for Place. “Brainloaf,” she said, “how I've missed
thee.”
* * *
“So,” Jim said.
“You're a clone of Kim who was created by an obviously illegal process,” Tim said.
“You're a clone of Kim who was created by an obviously illegal process,” Tim said.
“Presumably without her knowledge or
consent,” Jim said.
“And you're hanging out with
super-villians,” they said as one.
“Yup.”
“Cool.” Jim and Tim said.
* * *
“So, probably the first
thing to get out the way,” Place said between bites of brain shaped
meatloaf, “is the fact that I don't have a name.”
“What do you call yourself,” her mother asked.
“We've been going with 'Place' which is short for 'Placeholder',” Place said. “It's kind of grown on me, but the entire point of having a placeholder name was that I figured you and dad might want to have some say in what your daughter's name is.”
“What do you call yourself,” her mother asked.
“We've been going with 'Place' which is short for 'Placeholder',” Place said. “It's kind of grown on me, but the entire point of having a placeholder name was that I figured you and dad might want to have some say in what your daughter's name is.”
“What about,” Jim
began.
“Us?” Tim finished.
“That depends on your
input,” Place said, eyeing them warily.
* * *
“We never considered a
name for Kim other than 'Kimberly Ann'” Ann said.
“You could always go with 'Ann',” James said before flipping to the next page in the paper.
“Making Kim's middle name my first name doesn't really seem like having a name of my own,” Place said.
“You could be 'Evil Kim-Clone',” Tim said.
“You could always go with 'Ann',” James said before flipping to the next page in the paper.
“Making Kim's middle name my first name doesn't really seem like having a name of my own,” Place said.
“You could be 'Evil Kim-Clone',” Tim said.
“'The Kimitation',” Jim
said.
Ann resisted the urge to shout at her sons. She didn't know what was going through Place's mind, but she was sure that coming into the world fully grown with memories that weren't your own was difficult enough without being mocked.
“Boys, there will be no mocking your sister simply because she's the product of mad science,” James said.
Ann resisted the urge to shout at her sons. She didn't know what was going through Place's mind, but she was sure that coming into the world fully grown with memories that weren't your own was difficult enough without being mocked.
“Boys, there will be no mocking your sister simply because she's the product of mad science,” James said.
Ann felt some relief at
that. James' mind might be half in another world more than half the
time, but he had a way of calmly dealing with situations like these.
It still didn't help with giving this new daughter a name, though.
To her surprise, the twins
redeemed themselves with a good suggestion.
“Kim doesn't even use her
full first name, you could use what she she doesn't,” Jim
said.
“Leaving me with Berly?”
Place scoffed. “I think I'll pass.
“She uses the first,
syllable,” Tim said. “You could use the last.”
“'ly'?” Place asked.
“'Lee' is a name,”
James said.
“Isn't it a boy's name?”
Place asked.
“Not always,” Ann said.
“I had a Leah as a roommate my first year in medical school, and I
can assure you that she was quite feminine.”
Place made a 'Hmmm' sound
as she thought it over.
“With reduplication it
would be 'Leela',” Place said.
Ann didn't quite follow
that logic, and so she asked, “Wouldn't reduplication make it 'Lalee'?”
“And have those two call
me Lolly-pop?” Place asked, pointing at the twins who were suddenly
trying, and failing, to look like they would never consider such a
thing.
“So, 'Leela'?” Ann
asked.
“Unless someone has
objections I guess I'm 'Leela Place Possible',” Place said.
“I don't object,” James
said.
“It's a fine name,” Ann
told her daughter.
* * *
The conversation went rather well, Place thought. It would take her a while to start thinking of herself as 'Leela', but she hadn't been 'Place' all that long so she figured it would work out. There was only one, completely expected, problem.
“You really plan on going back to living with a gang of criminals?” her mother asked.
“It's not a gang, it's a vaguely organized paramilitary security force whose primary job is to protect a compound, containing labs and living quarters, which happens to be overseen by someone dad made fun of in college.”
“I do sometimes wonder
what would have happened if we had treated Drew better,” Place's
father said, not looking up from his paper.
“Yeah,” Place said in a
tone she hoped was flat rather than sarcastic, “If you'd given him
the cybertronic armor instead of Pinky Joe Curly Tail then there
might be two fewer villains in the world.”
“Oh, Pinky Joe,” her
dad said wistfully.
“I'm just not comfortable
with the idea of my daughter breaking the law,” her mother said.
“Then you probably should
have thought about that before you started letting Kim cross borders
without going through customs, order Wade to hack into secure
systems, help out in the emergency room without certification, and
bring space ships from orbit to landing without filing a flight
plan.” Place was originally going to stop there, but then she
decided to add, “Not to mention that she wasn't certified for that
last one either.”
Her mother looked shocked.
“Not that I disapprove,”
Place said quickly. “I mean being a vigilante is kind of iffy, but
I totally intend to copy her tax evasion strategy.”
When her mother spoke, it
was with the lack of emotion that Place imagined came from being
thrown for a loop with such force that your feelings and brain landed
in different time zones. She hadn't meant to do that to her mother,
and mentally kicked herself.
As for what her mother
actually said, it was simply, “Tax evasion?”
“Yeah, you know,” Place
said. “Kim renders services and she could accept payment there and
then and then use that payment to, say, charter a boat later, but
instead she does it for free --wink, wink; nudge, nudge-- and then
charters the boat for free later on as repayment of the favor. She
gets the same thing as if she accepted payment, but by leaving money
out of the equation and 'forgetting' to declare the numerous gifts to
the IRS she doesn't pay a cent in taxes.
“I'm pretty sure everyone
would work for barter-- sorry, 'favors' if they thought they could
get away with the same thing, but not everyone has Kim's contacts in
the government to stop people from looking into the undeclared gifts.
“I mean, whenever a
member of congress tries to do what Kim does, they end up resigning
in disgrace. The smart ones know to declare their bribes, because
they wrote the law such that declared ones are legal.” Place had,
in fact, taken Shego's advice and looked at some of the congressional
record.
“Kimmie's a criminal!”
Jim said.
“Hikka bikka boo?” Tim
said.
“Hoo sha!” Jim said.
“I'm raising a house full
of criminals,” their mother sighed.
“I'm sorry,” Place
said. “I didn't mean to bring you down.”
“No,” her mother said,
her voice returning to normal. “It's fine. I've gotten used to it
actually.” She paused. “It's just that it's usually coming from
the boys or being used to save the world.”
“Well,” Place said,
“I'm not exactly planning on ending the world.”
* * *Shego called ahead to let Place know when Kim was on her way back, so Place wrapped up the conversation and said her good-byes while asking her family to let her break the news to Kim when she was ready. She wasn't entirely sure when she'd be ready.
Her mother followed her to the door. “Are you going back to the lair?” she asked.
“No,” Place said. “I'm going to see Wade and have him check me over for any mind control or behavioral modification.”
“I thought you said you trusted them.”
“I did and I do. But I think 'Trust, but verify' is a good strategy here.”
“That does seem smart,” her mother said. “And after Wade?”
“I've got some stuff to figure out on my own,” Place said. “I don't fully understand the process that created me yet. I would very much like to.” Place paused and thought a moment, “Depending on where that takes me I might stop in to see Nana, Joss ... even Larry. Regardless, after that I'm going back to the lair.”
“And you're sure you'll be safe there?”
“Kim's still planning on going to university in Hong Kong after this 'year off for reconstruction' thing she's doing, right?”
“Kim's still planning on going to university in Hong Kong after this 'year off for reconstruction' thing she's doing, right?”
“Yes, but I don't see how--”
“Mom, are you sure she'll be safe there? A
year isn't that long to rebuild when you think about it, and as I
recall the entire infrastructure got taken out in the island,
Kowloon, and the New Territories.”
“Are you trying to
make me worry?”
“I'm trying to make a
simple point: Nowhere is completely safe,” Place said. “I'm not
going to say I'm sure I'll be safe, because I'm not going to lie, but
I will say that I'm fairly confident I'll be reasonably safe.”
“That's … mildly
comforting.”
“Bye, mom,” Place said
as she left.
“Bye, Leela,” her mom
said.
Place knew that it would
take a while to get used to her new name, but at least she finally
had a name.
-[previous][Being more than a Simulacrum Index][Next]
Hm. Place knew it would take a while to get used to her new name. Leela Place Possible may be the name she puts on her legal documents, but I don't think Leela is what she's going to go by.
ReplyDeleteI knew that she would eventually get the name "Leela" for a long time, but it's been 11 months since the name "Place" was introduced in part two and about 9 and a half since she internalized it in part three, so I've been thinking of her as "Place" for a lot longer than she has.
DeleteI'm not totally sure how I'm going to handle it going forward, but I'm thinking that it's probably going to end up being something like, "My friends call me 'Place'."
The people back at the lair already know her as "Place" and she's already internalized it, but when she meets a new person she'll call herself "Leela" or "Leela Place".
It'll probably be a tangled mess, but that's what happens when you go around cloning people.
True enough. :)
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