I'd never given much thought to how I
would die, except, you know, when there was an out of control van
speeding right at me across an icy parking lot, at that point I put
some thought into the possibility that I would die by van. And then
there was that time in Port Angles when I'm pretty sure I was
supposed to be thinking of the possibility of death, but by then I
was kind of ignoring what I was supposed to do, and naturally when
one finds out they're being hunted by a deadly vampire a certain
amount of thought does tend to move in a death-ward direction even if
you're not really all that worried, and even something as simple as
looking at a tide pool can be fraught with danger if you're writen in
such a way as to be incapable of walking across even a smooth surface
with out falling. If I hadn't considered death, or at least serious
injury, then I wouldn't have been nearly so careful and might well
have encountered one or the other.
So I have actually, on occasion, given
a degree of thought to the question of how I was going to die.
Anyway, the thought didn't dwell too much on something like this,
though I did have some opportunity to think about it on the way over,
but truth be told I'm pretty sure I'm not going to die here. For one
thing, I'm the narrator, for another, this scene doesn't actually
appear in the book. If I really were going to die, you'd think the
lead up would merit a mention, but since this supposed realization
that I'm going to die can be safely omitted I'm pretty sure I live.
Also, the hunter across the room from me is hardly the most
formidable foe I've faced in these pages. I'd had to deal with
someone worse than him in my dating life. So that takes some of the
threat out of it.
Currently Nameless Hunter: Who?
Bella: The male lead.
CNH: Really?
Bella: You don't even compare.
CNH: But I kill people. For fun.
Bella: An entirely informed attribute
if ever there was one. How many people have you killed onscreen?
CNH: That's not fair. I've killed lots
of people.
Bella: If you say so. Do you want me
to get back to the narration so we can move onto the actual book, or
discuss the relative merits of offscreen killing and onscreen abuse?
CNH: Narrate so I can eat you.
Bella: That's really not going to
happen.
There was a certain nobility in dying
to save someone else, if that was really what was happening but I
seriously had my doubts. In fact I found this entire sequence
frustratingly dull. I was hoping for a cross country chase, instead
I got a phone call saying, basically, “Come over here and let me
kill you or I'll kill someone you care about,” oh the incredible
drama. I thought vampire stories were supposed to involve movement
and train schedules and suspense and evasion and chases and whatnot.
And in case I oversold, let me assure
you that the conversation on the phone was much more boring than my
paraphrase made it out to be. So now here I am, with someone who may
or may not be holding someone I care about hostage. I'm not supposed
to say who on account of suspense and mystery, but it really isn't
suspenseful or mysterious.
Anyway, I knew at this point that I
wouldn't be in this situation if I'd never gone to Forks, but I don't
regret going to Forks because I'd seen things you would never imagine
and oh my God I love my truck. It is a fantastic truck. I should
write an ode to that truck.
CNH: It's a stupid truck.
Bella: And now you have to die, but I'm
going to finish my narration first.
When life offers you a dream so far
beyond your expectations, the prospect of it never having happened is
more troubling than the prospect of death. Plus, as I said, I'm
pretty sure I'm not about to die.
CNH: We'll see about that.
Bella: Yes, we will.
The currently nameless hunter smiled in
a way that I think was meant to appear friendly as he sauntered forward to try to kill me. There was
no way I was going to let him succeed.
-
I love Bella's love for her truck, and heartily endorse her intentions to kill any vampires who speak disrespectfully of it.
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