[How not to write if the narrator being non-human is supposed to be a surprise, probably works ok if the narrator really is human.]
I've never really understood human nature, I've tried ever since I got here and I have to say, humans are odd. Strange. Bizarre. Wholly unlike what I would expect. They're just so... human. Even in their inhuman moments they're always humaish, or humanoid, or human-like, or something similar. I don't get that. Why would anything be so fundamentally unlike a reasonable thinking feeling being?
My attempts at analysis have all led to the same result, which I can say with 99.9% confidence: humans are strange. It is deeply troubling how strange such mundane beings are able to be. You wouldn't think to look at them that they would be capable of such almost unimaginable peculiarities...
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[Original Work]
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