I think it's mostly finances, which I'm sick of talking about. Yesterday I had to try to figure out whether it was better to overdraw my account, and thus piss off the bank, or better to be late with a payment, and thus piss off the credit card company.
Cold times are coming, it's already a lot cooler, and you can't survive without heating oil. So it wasn't a mistake to get it, but good god did it fuck up everything money-wise. It's just not cheap. And that has messed up everything else.
Anyway, whether it is finances, or it's just a coincidence that I feel hopeless at the same time money shit is going down, I definitely feel emotionally-not-well and that fucks up everything. I can't think, I can't write, I can't accomplish shit. Everything just ... stops.
Things don't happen.
I really, truly, want to be writing things for here. I want to be doing something rather than nothing in general. But I fail.
It's not fun.
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I have another chapter of Forgotten Seeds that's been written for a while and just needs a final proofread. I'll see if I can get that up by tomorrow.
:(
ReplyDeleteStress is a horrible thing, and money stress is one of the worst kinds. Stay alive.
Co-signing what Packbat said.
ReplyDelete---Redcrow
You're inside your head and I'm not, but I have to say that this sounds a lot like what I've read of classic depression. I hope things improve.
ReplyDelete