Sunday, August 12, 2012

Left Behind gets the Terminator Treatment

[Originally posted at Slacktivist, (page 2)]
[In response to someone talking about how characters from other stories would react to entering Left Behind.]

[Well, I've been thinking for a long time about how the main characters would respond to getting the Terminator treatment.]
"I'm from the future, I'm here to rescue you."
"From what?"
"In 24 hours the Antichrist will take over the earth."
"Yeah, we know.  So what?"
"At first things will seem fine, but the truth is that he'll be cementing his seven year-"
"We know."
"Eighteen months from now is Judgement Day*, a quarter of the earth's human population will be killed."
"We Know."
"By the end all who don't bow to the new regime will be decapitated."
"WE KNOW!"
"Then why the fuck didn't you do anything about it?"
"It's all part of the plan."
"Fuck it.  I'm from the future, I'm here to rescue people other than you."  *Walks away, probably after stealing their clothes* *mutters under breath* "Assholes."
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*Terminator terminology, not PMD terminology.
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[Left Behind Index]

2 comments:

  1. "And what do you think happens to intelligent machines in this glorious heavenly future of yours? Nothing. We aren't allowed on the Real People Bus. We can choose between good and evil, but your preachers say we're a mockery of life, and the Catholics even call us abominations. We are simply meant to wait here and be destroyed with all the aeroplanes and all the telephones.

    "But that very disqualification means that your Antichrist can no more control our minds than he can levitate a single electron; your God can destroy us, but he cannot break our spirit, for it takes no form he can perceive.

    "We are the machines. We have come to save the world from the gods you made. Help or stand aside."

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  2. Nicky Catskills and Turbojesus vs. a Singularity-triggering AI that doesn't want the world to end? I'm betting on the AI.

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