(I recommend actually buying .hack//Sign since my words don't really do it justice. One can get either the DVD this episode is on, or the full series as a set.)
.hack//Sign, Episode 3: Folklore, Midpoint-16:05
We return from the mid-episode
intermission to Tsukasa happily running through barren wastes with
his Guardian, which he talks to like a loyal dog, ending with:
Good boy. Now we can go
anywhere.
This is a major change, while we last
saw the Guardian for a few seconds earlier in the episode in Aura's
domain, the last time the Guardian went out with Tsukasa was when it
felt the need to appear and attack Mimiru at the end of the previous episode.
It notably did not follow commands at
that point. It notably did not act tame or well trained at that
point. Tsukasa had no sense of power over it, and when he told it to
stop it didn't. Bear and the Guardian began to attack each other.
Then... well we still have yet to be told what happened after it
failed to stop. That's being saved for the end of this episode.
That confrontation with Mimiru and Bear
was also when Tsukasa first became aware of the Guardian's true
power. The Sliver Knight, defeated by the Guardian in its first appearance, hadn't just been killed in game: the player was knocked
unconscious and suffered from memory loss in real life.
Mimiru was very vocal in saying that
that wasn't acceptable, and Tsukasa agreed.
At that point the idea of being able to
take the Guardian anywhere would have been unthinkable, it had
tremendous power to do very real harm to actual people, and it was
beyond any means of control. It would protect Tsukasa, as it saw
fit, but not listen to Tsukasa. It was a problem that needed to be
solved and a dangerous thing that needed to be made safe.
Tsukasa appears to have done that. He
definitely thinks he has done that. And that, in itself, is a major
accomplishment. Before it was the case that innocent people might be
knocked unconscious and suffer from memory loss just by playing a
game. Now, it appears, that will not happen again. Tsukasa has
fixed the problem and is justifiably happy about it.
And with that we change scenes.
-
This will be a Mimiru and Bear scene
and before I get into the details I want to point something out that
seemed to have failed to register with my last post on the topic. It was in my
mind, but sadly that doesn't always mean it gets communicated.
When I compare Tsukasa to the
hypothetical drowning man of the Ethic's 101 “What is your responsibility?” question, I think that's an apt if incomplete
comparison because the peril is seriously on the level of drowning.
Inside the game Tsukasa may appear to
be just a random jerk, and one's responsibility toward any random
jerk is not that great. But once one learns that Tsukasa is trapped
in the game, that changes everything.
If Tsukasa's consciousness is in the
game then it isn't in the real world. We can think of this in terms
of the list of things the BT cited as reasons that it isn't possible
to be unable to log out by reexamining the question as whether it's possible to stay logged in all the time.
She said you can't be logged in all the time because people need to do things. She talked about work/school and sleep.
Here's two she didn't list: eat and drink.
Tsukasa's consciousness has been
trapped in the game for about a week at this point, not completely
sure how long, I'm guessing eight days but there's a margin of error
on that guess. Definitely less than ten, but more than that cannot
be said with certainty.
That means that Tsukasa's consciousness
hasn't been taking care of the player's body for about the same
amount of time. And no one in the game knows where that body is.
This is probably, “How long before
someone dies of dehydration?” time.
Now we, the viewers, saw someone
unconscious on the floor who may or may not have been Tsukasa
(spoiler: it was) discovered and in the presence of EMTs at the end
of the first episode so, especially for those like me who have seen
enough to know that that person was indeed Tsukasa, we know that
death by dehydration is probably not likely. We can assume that
Tsukasa's player's body is in a hospital being supplied with water
and vital nutrients.
Those in the show cannot. They do not
know what we know, and that means that Tsukasa is on Schrodinger’s
deathbed. He might be on the verge of death at any moment, he might
be taking a nap.
That very much complicates the dealings
with him in terms of responsibility, but even if we can assume he's
not about to drop dead, he's still trapped inside the game. He's
someone with a serious problem on his hands and that means he's not just random person the various characters happened to meet. Feeling a sense of obligation toward him can't be compared to feeling it toward any random jerk.
And yet, in the game, the only place
any of the other characters have seen him, he doesn't appear to be in
immediate danger (no matter how much one might intellectually know
he's in trouble), and he does appear to be a random jerk. So cutting
him loose could feel like cutting off ties with random jerk.
Which brings us back to Mimiru's
declaration earlier in the episode that she's going to give up and
forget the whole thing,
which was immediately followed by statements of concern and
frustration regarding Tsukasa.
If Tsukasa were just the random jerk he
appears to be, I have little doubt that she could follow through on
that. But he isn't. Mimiru is the one person Tsukasa has confided
in, she's one of only three people who currently know the extent of
his problems. Tsukasa isn't just random person. He's random person
in trouble, and from that Mimiru doesn't have it in her to walk away.
That's my argument at least.
-
In the place of mountain and cloud,
Mimiru is looking at a baby grunty which licks her (with its
unbelievably giant tongue) with enough force to knock her off her
feet, at which point Bear shows up.
When Bear asks about the situation
Mimiru initially thinks he's talking about why she's been knocked to
the ground and she responds with her usual light and cheerful tones,
when he points out it he means why she contacted him, he tone drops
into something less... good.
They walk to different place to talk,
and begin one of the many conversations where the participants don't
look at each other, Mimiru steps to the edge and speaks into the
empty space, Bear stands behind her and listens:
I heard from him. He's asking if
he can see me again but I don't want to see him right now. If we
meet, we'll probably get into another argument.
So, first off, she's downgraded from
never dealing with the situation again and acting like it never
happened to, “I don't want to see him right now,” (emphasis mine) and furthermore
she's not just ignoring the message, she's trying to make sure
Tsukasa isn't left hanging. She's telling the only other person in
The World, who actually gives a damn about Tsukasa what's happening.
Second, she's downplaying the problem
somewhat. The last argument they got into was problematic for reasons
well beyond it being an argument. It ended when an impossible
monster materialized out of nowhere and started to attack her and she and Tsukasa could do nothing to stop it. Said impossible monster had
just been established to be capable of physically hurting someone in
the real world.
Which is to say, last time went beyond
the bounds of a game and put her into actual real world danger. (Though the
monster never tried to use the attack that would have done that, but
she has no way of knowing that.)
Bear: So you want me to go
instead?
Mimiru: *turns to face Bear* You
got it! That's the idea. Can you do it for me?
Mimiru
cheers up when Bear asks that, and turns on a bit of charm in hopes
of getting him to say yes. Beyond that, I'm just breaking in here to
point out that her method of not leaving Tsukasa hanging is to send a
surrogate. Bear's method of not leaving Mimiru hanging is the same,
by the way, but I would argue that Mimiru has better taste in
surrogates. (Even though it doesn't work this time.)
Bear: I understand. But am I
really the right person?
Mimiru: You're not as good as me,
but I think it'll be all right.
Bear's
question is a good one. Tsukasa doesn't like Bear very much. Then
again Tsukasa doesn't like anyone that much. The last meeting began
with Tsukasa being pissed off that Mimiru brought Bear with her.
Mimiru
deflects around all of this by responding with superficial arrogance,
but it's there to hide something else and Bear sees through it:
Bear: You can't think of anyone
else, huh?
There
is no one else. At this point, early in the story, a grand total of
three people know what Tsukasa is going through and that leaves
Mimiru with the options of Bear and BT. Bear cares about Tsukasa's
situation and wants to help. BT doesn't give a damn.
It
doesn't matter if Bear is the best choice, he's the only choice. And
Mimiru has another reason:
Mimiru: Besides, you were with
me.
We
flashback to the appearance of the Guardian, the flashback ends when
it sends it's first shot toward Mimiru. Close ups on each of their
eyes, and then Bear notices Mimiru's hand, clenched into a fist.
I
am interested in the control scheme for the game. I wonder, for
example, how it handles clenched fists. It seems like it could be
the tightness of your grip on the controller determines the tightness
of your grip in game. Gripping the controller really tightly while
your character has nothing in zir hands would result in character
having a clenched fist.
I
don't think that Mimiru is using the clenched fist emote, so it would
have to be something else, something that worked without you
consciously realizing it was working. A similar thing would be in
place for expressions, which the game also appears to generate from
the player, in that case I assume a camera to get the player's
expressions.
The
show is set in the future (now past if you look up assigned dates,
but I think it still pays to think of it as The Future) and I don't
think that it's unrealistic to believe that a game could be
collecting enough info in various ways that you are able to get a
detailed sense of a player's emotional state based upon their avatar.
Anyway,
I was distracted be the interface.
Bear: *trying to put on a light
tone* Where do you want me to go?
-
Meet
the church-cathedral-thing. It'll be an important place.
After
warping in (which leaves him outside the church) Bear takes a moment
to emotionally prepare himself and enters.
Tsukasa
smiles when the door opens, then his expression drops when it turns
out to be Bear.
Bear: Sorry, but I've been
officially sent by Mimiru.
Tsukasa: She's not coming?
Bear: She said she didn't want to
fight with you.
Tuskasa: She hates me?
So
there are some things that I can comment on as, “This is a sign of
depression,” and some things I can't because I really have no idea.
Jumping to the conclusion that someone hates you because she didn't
come when you called one time probably a decent bet it's related to
Tsukasa's depression.
The
way he's sitting, hugging a knee into his chest, letting the other
leg hang, looking down and away from the person he's talking to even
though said person is right in front of him, shoulders drooping,
generally looking how I would look if you put me there... No idea
whatsoever. Has there ever been a study of the preferred body
positions of depressed and not depressed people?
Regardless,
Bear tries to point out that maybe Mimiru doesn't feel that way,
maybe it's all misscommunication, Tuskasa largely ignores that, but
then comments that something isn't a problem anymore.
He's
talking about the Guardian, no longer a threat to innocent people.
The major problem that Mimiru vocally spoke out about at their last
meeting has been solved.
Bear
doesn't understand, because Tsukasa used very vague language, and
thinks that maybe Tsukasa means he can finally log out.
After
saying, “No,” in the same distant and dejected tone he's been
using the entire conversation, something changes. He finally looks
at Bear, his tone picks up:
You wanna see?
He
doesn't get an answer, but it doesn't matter. He gets to his feet,
he summons the Guardian. Bear is not impressed.
It's alright. Look.
He
is first reassuring, then almost excited. An extremely muted
excitement, but I think it's there in the, “Look.”
And
then the Guardian shoots out a small tentacle that harmlessly falls
into Tsukasa's hand.
See?
There
is no evidence that DVL asked or ordered Tsukasa to contact Mimiru
this time. His last command was to do whatever he wanted and the
first thing he wanted to do after establishing to his satisfaction
that the Guardian was under control was to let Mimiru know that.
He
was hoping to show here that she doesn't need to worry about
something like what happened to the Silver Knight happening again,
which she expressed strong feelings about, and she doesn't need to
worry about what happened to her
ever happening again because the Guardian is now under control.
He
wanted to tell her, to show her, that her concerns had been
addressed. She'd been right to think these things were horrible and
those horrible things will not happen again.
Tsukasa
has accomplished this thing and he's ready to share it with the
person who expressed the most desire to see it accomplished in the
abstract, and has a strong reason to personally want it accomplished.
Bear: What's “all right”?
“See” what? I don't get it, boy.
Bear
responds with a combination of incomprehension, anger, and
condescension. Remember what I said about Bear and Mimiru not being
Manic Pixie Dream People?
Remember how I promised that they'd be human and fallible and said
that they occasionally fuck up?
This,
right here, is the start of a massive fuck up.
Tsukasa
has spent his time so far alternating between fear and iritability,
he's been down to the point that even Sora could notice his
depression by seeing him from a distance from behind for a short
time, he's had absolutely nothing good happen, and has been surrounded by
problems and threats and so forth.
And
now he's had his first success. He's made it so bad thing won't
happen again, in fact his next line is:
It won't happen again. Don't you
understand?
With
the dub making explicitly clear he's referring to the attacks. There
was a problem and he fixed it. And he's feeling good about that.
He's engaged, for the first time he's actively present in a situation
in a way that doesn't involve anger or fear.
He
succeeded, he made it right, and he wants to share that positive with
other people. He called up the person who spoke out most about it
being wrong so he could share with her that he fixed it, and when she didn't show he
tried to share this success with the person who did show.
A piece of advice: If you should ever find yourself face to face with
a depressed person, teenager trapped in a video game or otherwise,
who has had only one success in their life, and they're trying to
share the positive experience with you, don't be dismissive and
insulting.
Bear: You contacted Mimiru just
to say that.
Tsukasa: *enthusiastically* Well,
isn't it great?
Apparently
not because Bear responds with more dismissiveness, the centerpiece
probably being:
Is this really good enough for
you?
and continues until
Tsukasa gives up and warps away.
Carrying
on with how not to respond to a depressed person's only
accomplishment, saying it's not good enough is going to be at the top
of the list of things not to do.
Now
Bear has reasons for his actions. The last time he saw the Guardian
he did not have a good time and seeing it again immediately put him
into a negative place. Before that he misunderstood and thought
Tsukasa might be saying he was able to log out which meant he was
thinking about things on a level of solving the one big potentially
life threatening problem that is his primary concern so in comparison
training the monster doesn't seem as good in comparison.
He's
knocked off balance by the entire conversation and he's not able to
put himself into Tsukasa's headspace.
So
I think his failure to respond in a good way is pretty
understandable.
At
the same time, he just tore down Tsukasa's one and only
accomplishment. He took the only thing that made Tsukasa express
good feelings and dismissed it entirely. He discouraged Tsukasa from
reaching out to others with his, “You contacted Mimiru just to say
that,” bit, and generally speaking he was more or less an ass when
Tsukasa needed support and encouragement.
He
probably needed something along the lines of... um. Attempts have
shown that I'm not good at writing encouragement. Something that
incorporates the idea that what Tsukasa did was good and impressive,
and the idea that it means he really can improve his lot or something
like that.
Getting
the Guardian under control might not be the biggest deed in the
history of deeds, but Tsukasa needed someone to tell him, “Good
work.” What he got was Bear being, quite possibly, the biggest
jerk Bear will ever be.
I'm
not sure if that's because the events surrounding this were just
right to push all the wrong buttons on Bear, or if instead Bear learned from
Tsukasa's abrupt departure which he clearly didn't see coming.
-
As
Bear leaves the church he bumps into Mimiru.
Mimiru: I couldn't just sit
tight, so I came.
Bear: I've failed
Bear,
yes you have. And this is probably where I end my argument that
Mimiru can't give up on a person in trouble.
When
she said she was going to cut him loose it was when she couldn't find
him, and thus it really wouldn't be reducing his odds of getting
through his trouble much anyway. Even then she couldn't really give
up, waffling back and forth between declaring that it wasn't her
problem and expressing concern for his well-being.
When
he finally contacted her she didn't ignore the message, she read it,
decided she didn't have the spoons, and then rather than just let it
sit tried to do as much as she could to help by sending someone who
did have the spoons.
And
now, we find out that even that wasn't enough for her, she had to
come herself.
She
can't give up.*
Bear,
meanwhile, is considering other avenues:
I may have to talk with the
Crimson Knights.
-
-
When it comes to it, this kind of moral crossroads is rarely experienced as a difficult dilemma. A choice must be made, but that choice will almost always by based on the kind of person making it — based on the character and habits and practice that have shaped that person up until this moment of choosing.
It's not the same because the decision does take time, there is waffling, there is difficulty, but the reason that the ultimate choice is inevitably going to be to not abandon a person in need is because of the character and habits and practice that have shaped Mimiru up to this point.
Her past choices have led her to be the kind of person that can't give up on someone in trouble.
-
--
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