Last week was finals' week, it was also
the week when I finally got on the books as being in classes, it was
also the week I got sick, though I didn't realize I was sick until a
few days in as at this point extreme tiredness and never-ending
headaches don't really register as symptoms anymore, they're just
part of the way things are. So it was only after I finally took
notice of other symptoms that I was able to realize those were in
fact beyond normal and date the beginning of being sick, but I'm
getting ahead of myself.
Diahemeral, meaning “(lasting)
through the day” (from dia- through or across and hemera meaning
day [-al is an adjectival suffix]) is not, in fact, a word.
Look it
up in the dictionary and you will not find it. Search on google and,
as of me writing this, it doesn't exist. Presumably once I publish
there will be two results: this post and the main page.** But the
point is, even in the wilds of the internet, where things don't have
to be even close to being actual words to be used, diahemeral does
not exist.
I made it up on a test I took on Friday
in hopes that it already existed.
See, I seem to have this hole in my
mind where words beginning with the prefix dia- should be stored. I
can hold onto diameter, but nothing else. Part of this is that, as
diameter demonstrates, the i in dia is an “eye” sound where when
I think of the prefix I think of it as an “ee” sound. I think of
it like the i in diem. (Yes, I'm crossing Latin and Greek.) So I
tend to be fishing for the wrong phonetics anyway. That can't
possibly help with memory. But even when I get the right vowel
sound, the right words, like diatonic, always seem to be forced out
of view by the wrong words, like dichromatic. I end up with “two”
words instead of “through” words.*
So, since the test asked for two dia words, and since I couldn't think of any other
than diameter, I tried to think of something that might be a word. I
tried to think of what one might want to stick a “through” on and
it seemed like “through the day” ought to work.
I could see it
applying in medicine, a diahemeral headache is a headache that lasts
through the day. I could see it being used about things outside of medicine and less
annoying than a headache as well. Consider, “The morning went so
well it left him with in a state of diahemeral euphoria.” I could see it being used to describe events, "You can show up any time of day, the concert will be diahemeral." And so on.
But it's not a word.
-
The test wasn't supposed to be on
Friday. I screwed up and thought it was on Thursday for no apparent
reason (my notes had the right day, I just never checked them because
I was so sure) when in fact it was on Wednesday.
Oddly, I was worried that I had the day
for another test, which I correctly believed to be on Tuesday, wrong.
I double and triple checked that before showing up on Tuesday. That
was also the day that my enrollment this semester became official
after spending the entire time attending classes while having no
official existence.
Back to the main story, I was convinced
the test was on Thursday. Wednesday night, just before going to
sleep, I realized my mistake. There was much profanity. I did not
get a good night's sleep. I'm not even sure if I got a good couple
hours sleep. Looking back, I think I was already sick at that point,
but the lack of sleep probably didn't help.
Thursday morning was spent in
frustration and attempts to rest.
I came into school because I didn't
want to say, “I thought it was today, but no, I can't take it
today,” so I wanted to be available to take it when I had thought
it was. I ended up having to say that anyway because I could only be
contacted by email, my computer was low on charge, and I forgot to
bring the cord. I also forgot that at school I was surrounded by
other computers that could be used to check my email.
I was definitely sick by noonish. I
didn't quite realize it yet. I couldn't eat food, at least not much,
and didn't know why. This would continue for three days.
The afternoon was spent with dentistry.
Friday I invented the word diahemeral.
I also checked in with another teacher, and was told that I could
drop off my late work on Monday, which gave me a whole weekend to get
it done. What could possibly go wrong? (Here's a hint, karma
apparently doesn't like putting things off until the last moment, at
least that's as good an explanation as any for me getting sick.)
Friday during the day was when the
aches and pains were the worst. I don't remember exactly which, but
either Friday night or Saturday morning was the worst of the sickness
from the standpoint of my digestive system.
Saturday my mother and I had hopped to
climb a mountain, it was a beautiful day, perfect really. I wasn't
feeling well enough. My mother had Monday off so we figured we'd
climb the mountain then, and I thought I could get the schoolwork
done on Saturday since we weren't climbing a mountain, thus being
sick wouldn't be too much of a problem. Unfortunately I wasn't
really able to do much in the way of thinking. The symptoms, recall,
included extreme tiredness and constant headache, which I didn't
identify as symptoms at first because they're not unusual for me when
I'm not sick. Anyway, neither of those help with thinking.
It was beyond just not being able to
think to do work, when would have liked to have written some quick
fiction as a diversion realized I didn't have it in me to do that
either. Understand that writing Snarky Twilight is not a difficult
thing for me. I read an excerpt of Twilight, generally brought up by Ana Mardoll, I recognize that it is horrible, which Ana Mardoll tends
to help with, and then the words tend to flow.
It does not require much in the way of
intellectual discipline or refinement or whatnot, I just go with what
comes. Sometimes there's more to it than that. Sometimes I research
something, for example checking the hours of Forks High school, or
looking up a quote from Blade Runner, or checking which translation of the Bible is being used, or something like that. But for the most
part, I just write whatever comes to mind. Not being able to do that
meant that nothing was coming to mind, at least nothing coherent.
That's a pretty serious lack of ability
to think. If you apply that lack of ability to reading comprehension
and analysis, you do not end up with essays. I know, for I tried.
That same day.
Sunday was mother's day. No progress
on anything, but I was noticeably more able to eat, which I took as a
sign I was finishing up on the whole sickness thing. Also time spent
with family.
Monday was rain. Depressing side: No
mountain. Well, no mountain worth speaking of, we did drive to a
“mountain” that you can walk up in almost no time. Somewhat less
bad side: Time to work on schoolwork and this time my brain did work
to some degree. Slowly, badly, to the point my teacher might lose
all respect for me, but stuff got done. Just not enough to turn
anything in.
Monday was also, I think, when the
sore, sore, incredibly unbelievably sore throat stage set it.
Definitely it was there by Monday, and I don't think it was there
Sunday, so it seems natural to label Monday the first day of that.
Then we reach today. Got a ride in to
school. On the way over saw that the sidewalk on the bridge I'd
prefer to take (for walking over it is an hour shorter than the other
one) had finally opened. At least on one side of the bridge, but
we'll get to that later.
At school I read and typed and worked
and thought and finished the long overdue things and then brought
them over to the place to drop them off and I was done with this
semester. Er, maybe that should be: ! Whatever. Enthusiasm, I
don't really have it. Trouble is, this semester isn't the only one
I'm on the hook for.
I got an incomplete last semester. An
incomplete gives one an entire extra semester to finish work. (I've
mentioned this here before.) Trouble is, if you don't make use of
that time, when the extra semester ends you fail just like you would
have had you not gotten it. I have not made use of that time. Most
of the time when I remembered it I was either not in a position to do
anything (most of the times that I remembered it were in cars) or
under a lot of stress, or just fracking busy. It tended to come back
to me when I was cataloging all of the many things I was ill-prepared
to deal with and yet needed to deal with.
So I was planning on trying to achieve
the impossible goal of somehow writing the paper that was due last
semester in the next day or two. Maybe. I sent off an email to ask
if an extremely rushed, and thus very low quality, paper would even
be worth it. Is the difference between failing and failing less
badly really worth trying to cram weeks' worth of work into a day or
two?
Haven't gotten a response, but it
doesn't matter. (And I've sent off an email to the person I asked
telling her it doesn't matter.)
See that whole walk home thing didn't
work out quite right. Maybe it would have been exactly the same
regardless, but what happened is this:
I got to the bridge to discover that
while the South Portland side of the bridge's sidewalk had been
clearly and undeniably opened, the Portland side had not been. It
wasn't just labeled as closed, it was labeled as closed with a sign
so big it obstructed the entire sidewalk.
Which meant that instead of a shorter
walk I had a longer walk. If I'd known that the right bridge were
closed I could have taken my usual route to the wrong bridge (which
is also, coincidentally, the left bridge) instead of walking first to
the right bridge then to the wrong bridge.
So a longer than usual walk, an
exhausting walk. It takes a lot out of you even when you're not
sick. And as the thing stretched on and on the weather got warmer
and brighter and generally made my choice of clothing more and more
inappropriate. (I had prepared for a cooler rainy day.) By the end
of the journey -worn out, baked, and somewhat sunburnt- my mind was
back in too-sick-to-think mode. I just don't have the energy or the
lack of headache.
Plus, the other stuff I had to write
about was, mercifully, English prose. And not just any prose,
articles made with the intent of being clearly understandable.
For the long overdue
should-take-weeks-and-I-would-have-but-days paper: Latin poetry.
Writing I can do, I offer all of these
words as evidence. Reading and analysis not so much. Reading and
analysis of Latin poetry, definitely not. I tried looking at an
English translation to give me ideas on how to attack it, and I've
lost the ability to grasp that too (though, the translation does suck
like singularity.) Tried looking at other papers (in English!) that
have been written about the work in question, not working there
either.
I don't like giving up. I really,
really do not like giving up. But I don't have it in me. Even if it
weren't on a nearly impossible timeframe, my brain isn't there.
So, the semester's over. I'm going to
need some rest, I'm going to need to stop being sick, but after that
who knows? Maybe I'll actually write more.
Certainly couldn't do any less than
I've done in the past week.
And someday I'll write a brilliant
paper on something about the Silvae by Statius because I
really don't like giving up.
-
* Dichromatic is clearly not a dia word
because before non-vowels dia retains the a, however confusion
between dia and di isn't quite as absurd as it first appears because
in some cases dia does lose the a. *Gets up and checks* Crap, that
includes when the first letter in the word it's attached to is an
“H”. Vowels and h are the things that make dia lose the a. I
don't care. Dihemeral sounds like something involving two days and
it isn't a word either so no one can claim it is the correct version.
I'm sticking with diahemeral.
Anyway, getting somewhat back on track,
dia loses its a before vowels, so a diocese is not two oceses because
the di there is in fact dia with a hidden a, not di. But if you did
want to say that there were two oceses using the prefix di the result
would be confusion. And thus if you don't already know the etymology
it can potentially be unclear whether a word contains dia or di.
[Added:]
I forgot to take into account the fact that I put the word into the post title, meaning that a result doesn't need to include the body of the post to contain Diahemeral. In other words, there are a lot more than two results now.
[Added:]
I forgot to take into account the fact that I put the word into the post title, meaning that a result doesn't need to include the body of the post to contain Diahemeral. In other words, there are a lot more than two results now.
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