NRA: Chloe got her licks in

[Originally posted at Slacktivist.]
[The canonical conversation goes thus:

(Chloe:) “Then I got my licks in, telling her all about how you and I met, where you were when the Rapture happened, and how you and I and Daddy became believers.”

(Buck:) “Verna must have thought we were all from another planet.”

One could read getting her licks in as accidental honesty at how aggressive and unpleasant RTC witnessing is.  Or, one could read it like this:]

-

"Then I got my licks in," Chloe said.

"That's good," Buck said.

"Yeah," Chloe said with her voice becoming distant and a faraway look in her eyes. "She's tasty."

"What?!"

"I mean, I told her all about how you and I met, where you were when the Rapture happened, and how you and I and Daddy became believers.”

“Verna must have thought we were all from another planet.”

"It felt like we were floating," Chloe said, the distance returning.

"What was that?"

"Um... it felt like we were fighting. She's so hostile and combative and stuff."

"Ok, ok."

-

[Left Behind Index]

Left Behind: Who's writing this, anyway?

[Originally posted at Slacktivist.  In response to the idea that the continuity is dependent on who is telling the story though it sort of got sidetracked from that and never really got into in any depth.  The plan was for an artistic piece where the style and such completely shifted based on the character telling it, the result was this.]

Rayford: And then the dashing pilot, who was sexy and manly and looked up to by all, swooped in and saved the day.

Ken: You do realize you're not the one flying this time?

Rayford: Right, forget all that stuff. The pilot was just background.

Ken: I heard that.

Rayford: Buck, you're up.

Buck: We lit the barrel of gas and then I preformed a tricky maneuver that involved spinning the bus one hundred and eighty degrees and bringing it to a complete stop, at the same time, which caused the barrel to fly out of the back, hit the bad guys, and EXPLODE!

Chloe: Um, science.

Buck: Is not in effect because of my powers of manly awesome.

Tsion: (To Chloe) Do you have to deal with this all the time?

Chloe: Pretty much.

Tsion: (To God) What have I done to anger you so, and how might I atone for it and get out of this mess?

Tsion: (To Narrative) I got into the plane without incident.

Buck: And we flew to America.

Ken: The range on a Learjet doesn't actually--

Buck: TO AMERICA.

Ken: Fine, to America.

Buck: I walk into the cockpit, which I can do because I'm cool and connected and--

Ken: Chartering my plane.

Buck: and say, "Cap--"

Ken: What the hell?  Am I Steve Rodgers now?

Buck: I can say "Cap," because I'm friends with everyone and thus don't need to remember their names from one page to the next. I can just make up nicknames on the spot. I say, "How are you doing, Cap?"

Ken: Well I'm apparently in a Budweiser commercial, hence the "How ya doin'?" and my main foil is a badly done knock off of the Old Spice man in that like the Old Spice man he thinks continuity is for other people--I'm on a horse--and yet has none of the charm of the Old Spice man.

Chloe: Oh, he's way worse than that.

Buck: "How you doing, Cap?"

Ken: "Much better now that we're in American airspace," which doesn't exist anymore and is too far from our destination for us to reach, "because before..." what's the silliest thing I could say?

Chloe: "Purple elephants are flying"?

Ken: That might be too silly. (To Buck) Let me start over. “A lot better, now that we’re over American air space. I had no idea what you guys got yourselves into,” because, seriously, who expects someone to be on the run from nonexistent governments as a result of the crime of converting to Christianity without a licence? “and who knew what kind of fighter pilots might have been on my tail.”

Chloe: You do realize that--

Ken: All fighters are now part of the Global Community Air Force, which has standardized its forces such that there's only one kind of fighter left in existence? Yup. Also, my jet could never outrun them.

Chloe: Playing for absurdity points?

Ken: Something like that.

Tsion: I commend you for being able to keep your wits about you in this situation, I swear this is Vogon Poetry.

Nicolae: (From off stage) I NUKE EVERYTHING! I KNOCK OVER THE FUCKING TABLE AND SAY, "YEAH, GOD? HOW YOU GOING TO TRIBIULATE A WORLD THAT'S NOTHING BUT MOLTEN SLAG?" BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Tsion: Is he serious?

Chloe: Unfortunately.

Tsion: What kind of book have I gotten myself into?

Nicolae: An endangered species? BOOM! A historic site? BOOM! A major metropolitan area? BOOM BOOM!

Buck: You know, that reminds me, World War III is still going on.

Chloe: I thought we dropped that arc.

Buck: This is totally World War III.

Chloe: Even though it isn't a world war and ... why do I even bother?

Buck: I say to Cap--

Ken: My name is KEN.

Buck: I say to Cap, “I don’t think we were worth all that, with World War III going on.”

Chloe: I hack into a secret military death-sat using the skills I picked up in my time at university doing things I've never been at liberty to explain. I target a certain Learjet that's recently entered former-American airspace. I look for the heat signature that's in the cockpit but not flying the plane. I kill that person without harming the others.

God: Divine Right Veto. He's one of the main characters.

Chloe: Would you stay out of this?

God: No.

Chloe: Well then could you be useful?

God: No.

Chloe: I convert the entire congregation of New Hope to Christian socialism and mobilize them to do good works in the world. Also, I get myself a Coke. *pause* (Eyeing God) That ok with you?

God: No one ever notices them anyway, so sure.

Hattie: I have wanton sex and enjoy every minute of it.

Nicolae: BOOM!

Hattie: Just, you know, not with him.

Chloe: Good call.

Rayford: When do I get to fly my fully loaded--

Hattie and Chloe: Extremely phallic.

Rayford: --giant plane. I've let you guys have your fun but it's time for everything to center around me again. This book is about me, me, me.

Chloe: I cannot believe that I share half of my genetics with you. I begin to look into the possibility that I'm some sort of science experiment and thus don't have a shred of genetics in common with either of my so called parents.

-

[Left Behind Index]

Verna's Perspective

[Originally posted at Slacktivist, page 2]

Original text:

Buck had had innumerable run-ins with Verna Zee in the Chicago office. Once he felt she had overstepped her bounds and had moved too quickly into her former boss’s office after Lucinda Washington disappeared in the Rapture. Then, when Buck himself was demoted for ostensibly missing the most important assignment of his life, Verna did become Chicago bureau chief and lorded it over him. Now that he was publisher, he had been tempted to fire her.

Vermic's response:

I would really, dearly love to read a Verna's POV version of this paragraph.  Everything about this one positively screams "unreliable narrator".

My attempt to provide it follows, though I note that I was so focused on the filling in about the past that I sort of forgot to work in that this is when he's kicking her out of her office during World War III.  You know, when she, as a news person, would be kind of busy.

-

Verna first met Cameron Williams in the midst of the world altering catastrophe that the event had been, her boss gone she'd stepped into the role of organizer because if the Chicago office hadn't relied on battlefield promotions no one would have been in charge and anarchy and panic would have been allowed to reign.  She couldn't let that happen because it was vitally important, especially during disasters, that the news got out.  Into that Williams had walked and taken offense at her for shouldering more responsibilities than anyone had ever asked of her.

She was glad to be rid of him when he was gone and under her the office did it's job and did it well.  The battlefield promotion was made official and she didn't give a second thought to Cameron Williams until he fucked up a major assignment in New York.

Assigned to cover a high level meeting at the UN he never showed up, the meeting became a major news story when it unexpectedly became the scene of a murder suicide.  The deaths of either of those involved would have been a major story that shook geopolitics even if the world weren't already in the midst of the the worst turmoil in human history.

Any member of nearly any news organization would have given nearly any body part to have had a reporter in the room when it happened.  And GW was supposed to have.

Rather than admit his failure Williams had lied, tried to claim that he was in the room and did cover the story even though none of his facts lined up and everyone agreed that he was not.

In the aftermath of that, when he should have been fired, he was sent to her.  She'd tried to find a place to fit him in her team even though she neither wanted nor needed his help, and moreover, even though she had little use for a reporter she couldn't trust.

He responded with insolence and rather than go through channels he insisted that she take the matter straight to the top.  Partially to humor him, partially to test to see if his "after hours number" for their boss was correct, she'd done just that.  The resolution was imperfect, it was clear that emotions were at play, notably a strong fondness for Williams, but it at least got him out of her hair.  He would work from home independent from her office.

And that, she had hoped, would be the last she heard of him.

Then freedom of the press died.  All media was consolidated under a single entity, and that entity served at the whims of the newly forming one world government.  As everyone had to make difficult decisions about whether to quit in protest or remain in their role in hopes that they could make it something more than just state sponsored propaganda, one figure emerged who would head this new one word media.

When she heard it would be a reporter she by turns thought maybe it was a good thing, and wondered who they had found to so completely sell their soul as to lead the end of free media.  That figure: Cameron Williams.

With all of the world's media to push around she had hoped he wouldn't have time to bother her further, but now here he was, kicking her out of her office.

-

Or something like that.

-

[Left Behind Index]

Buck On Twitter

[Originally posted at Slacktivist.]

[In response to:Can y'all imagine Buck with Facebook and Twitter?]

I am totally not in church right now.

I hear nothing, I see nothing, and most of all I know nothing!

Just got a new apartment. Fifth Avenue. Penthouse. Who's the man?

I have no idea what's going on. None at all.
(Later:)
Of course I didn't take hush money.

First I'm going to take the plane to Chicago, then I'll be taking a cab from there to my work where I'll stop and make a phone call the phon
(later:)
Damn thing cut me off "es there are so amazing, you should see them, oh wait, you can't. Ha! They're all mine. After that I'll make anoth
(Later:)
To hell with it. I don't care. None of you deserve to know what I think anyway.

-

[Left Behind Index]

Buck Meets Hercules

[Originally posted at Slacktivist (page 2).]

[This was in response to it being pointed out that Buck and Chaim have seen miracles, recognized them as absolutely positively the work of God, and still only vaguely believe.]

“Cameron! Give me a smile on this historic day!”

Buck was about to try, but in that moment the ground beneath his feet began to shift. he stepped back and earth shot upward. He found himself on the ground, dirt and small rocks falling on him. Chaim was standing, staring slack jawed at -- what the hell was that thing?

Buck shouted, "Chaim get down!" but it was too late, the writhing mass of giant serpents had seen his friend, and all Buck had done was notify them of his presence as well. One knocked Chaim onto his back, while another latched onto Buck's leg. Not hard enough to damage, but more than enough to make escape impossible. Soon Buck was dangling upside down, staring into the foul smelling mouth of a serpent moments away from devouring him and Chaim, still on his back, was looking up into the eyes of a serpent ready to strike.

Buck was sure that he wouldn't live to see the rest of the tribulation when suddenly Hercules charged into the mass of serpents. With one stroke of his sword the serpent threatening Buck was decapitated, Hercules spun and sliced and so too was the one threatening Chaim. Another spin, another slice, and Buck fell to the ground, the serpent holding him falling to Hercules' sword.

Buck crawled backward, watching the spectacle. From the bloody stumps of the serpents' necks new heads arose in a hideous display. Two heads in place of each one sliced off. Hercules cried out, "Iolaus, I need that torch!" while he faced the 12 heads trying to slow the beast without decapitating it again.

Soon Iolaus arrived with a torch to close the hydra's wounds before new heads could emerge and after a short battled the beast had been slain. The heroes' jobs finished, they went on their way.

In the aftermath Jimmy Borland, religious editor for Global Weekly, approached Buck and Chaim, "So, Hercules is real," he began. He never got a chance to finish.

"Well I wouldn't go that far," said Chaim.

"All I can say is that some kind of demigod did something here today," Buck added. "Sort of."

[The original version of this erroneously mentioned a "writing mass of giant serpents" which I still think is an awesome typo.]

-

[Left Behind Index]

Buck's Ethics

[Originally posted at Slacktivist (page 2).]

I can see Buck's previous lack of regard for journalistic ethics playing a role in his finally saying no. (You know, if not for the fact he finally says yes.) This would be in Buck's big meeting with Nicolae, unlike in the actual book Buck has just turned down the offer on ethical grounds:

Nicolae: Buck, you've-
Buck: Yes! Yes, I have. I've buried stories for you, I've held my tongue when I knew I should be crying from the rooftops. I've crossed the line. More times than you will ever know. Hell, I'm crossing the line just being here today. Lunch was fantastic by the way. Lord knows I'll cross the line in the future.
Buck: But no matter how many times I've crossed over in the past or how many times I'll do it again in the future I am not going to set up permanent residence on this side of it. It will not happen. Unless you have something else you wanted to talk about, this meeting is over.

-

[Left Behind Index]