Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Great Octopus Wars

Lonespark: "You should be typing this right now because everyone enjoys stories that include the phrase, 'During the Second Great Octopus War'.  Everyone."
So, it started with broken arms.  And from there it went to noting that in two divergent cases cast times were uniform, speculating that this was due to our Cylon programming, noting the way nature rebels against rules imposed upon it, debate about whether Cylon programming is part of nature or not because...

Because a beaver dam is generally agreed to be natural but a human dam is more tricky.  They Cylons were created by man.  Man was created by nature.  Is our Cylon heritage natural?

Of course this went into the discussion of beaver tech, and the possibility they would take over the world.

And then I brought up my repeated theory that it will in fact be the octopodes who take over the world.

This was countered with the fact that they probably don't have much use for dry land.

So I amended that they'd take over the oceans and just charge us tribute for safe passage and whatnot.  Which would in turn cause us to move to air shipping as much as possible.

This in turn would lead to an increase in the CO2, which, yes, greenhouse gas but more importantly to the new cephalopodic overlords of 70ish percent of the earth's surface it causes the oceans to become more acidic which would lead to the Second Great Octopus War, in which they basically make the demand, "Hey, cut that shit out."

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Not that I have any clear ideas on what actually happens during the Second Great Octopus War.

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6 comments:

  1. This also needs one or more octopus pirates.

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  2. ObClassicSF: The Kraken Wakes.

    Getting rid of marine diesel engines would be an excellent short-term goal for the octopodes.

    Though the oniscidae are probably orchestrating the whole thing. I for one welcome our new woodlouse overlords, and will leave out plenty of water and crumbling leaves. (Deep-sea isopods are their close kin, but be warned before searching: many people find their appearance terrifying.)

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    1. Isopods FTW! (But I don't think they're as smart and sneaky as octopodes...not until we genetically/radioactively/magically modify them, of course...)

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  3. Also, deep sea heat sink effect would probably piss off the marine overlords somewhat fierce. Would you like to anger this? http://www.buzzfeed.com/kellyoakes/this-rare-sighting-of-a-bigfin-squid-will-haunt-your-nightma

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    1. (Link not broken, just looks like it is.)

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    2. I think I've seen that squid before, in a bit of concept art for a show that included an invasion by extra-dimensional aliens of untold power. As I recall the concept art was labeled "Old One".

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