Alice: I think we should park in this spot.
Edward: Why?
Alice: Because otherwise Bella Swan will and then she'll almost be killed until you risk blowing our cover thrice over in your ill thought out, but none the less successful, attempt to save her.
Edward: How will she almost be killed?
Alice: Squished between a van and a truck.
Edward: So if we park here my Volvo will get hit by a van?
Alice: That's about the size of it.
Edward: Definitely not parking here.
Alice: You are such an asshole.
Edward: Why?
Alice: Because otherwise Bella Swan will and then she'll almost be killed until you risk blowing our cover thrice over in your ill thought out, but none the less successful, attempt to save her.
Edward: How will she almost be killed?
Alice: Squished between a van and a truck.
Edward: So if we park here my Volvo will get hit by a van?
Alice: That's about the size of it.
Edward: Definitely not parking here.
Alice: You are such an asshole.
Later:
Bella has just parked.
Alice: Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?
Bella: What about?
Alice: My brother mostly, but can we have the conversation closer to warmth?
Bella: Ok.
*as they walk toward a building a terrible sound comes from behind them*
Bella: What the...
Alice: Well it sounded to me like a clockwise spinning van hit an antique truck, but I'm not really-
*Bella turns to see what happened*
Bella: My truck!
Alice: *to herself* Someday I'm going to have to figure out why I start sentences I know I'll never have the chance to finish.
Alice: Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?
Bella: What about?
Alice: My brother mostly, but can we have the conversation closer to warmth?
Bella: Ok.
*as they walk toward a building a terrible sound comes from behind them*
Bella: What the...
Alice: Well it sounded to me like a clockwise spinning van hit an antique truck, but I'm not really-
*Bella turns to see what happened*
Bella: My truck!
Alice: *to herself* Someday I'm going to have to figure out why I start sentences I know I'll never have the chance to finish.
Or something like that.
-[Twilight Index]
What Alice ought to say, quite often:
ReplyDelete"Spoilers."
Also I would expect something like this if the question of why the van scene wasn't averted came up:
DeleteAlice: Some points in the Narrative are in flux, others are fixed-
Bella: My truck is bigger on the inside, Alice. I know. There's a reason I never did anything involving a thirty-aught-six and Hitler's head.
Alice: Right, well, the thing with the van was fixed.
Bella: All I was looking for.
Twilight would probably be more fun if Alice were allowed to use the full extent of her power
ReplyDelete