[Canon Context: Our intrepid heroes venture out of Narnia and into a school in England. Aslan does the gaslighting, Eustace and dead Caspian beat (while being careful not to cut) boys with swords, and Jill is left to do the whipping of the girls (with a riding crop, if you need 100% accuracy.) It is notable that Lewis had a fetish about girls being whipped.]
[Bible Context: John 2, Mark 11/Matt 21; John 8]
Jill: What am I supposed to do with a whip?
Aslan: I've always yelled, "MONEY CHANGERS!" and found it worked wonders.
Jill: But they aren't money changers.
Aslan: Look, unless you have a fig tree in need of rebuking I can't actually help that much.
Jill: So...
Aslan: Just don't think about why the author gave you a whip.
*pause*
Jill: Too late; I thought about it.
Aslan: I told you not t-- Ok, what if we just...
Eustace: Aslan?
Aslan: I'm sorry, I just... Why are we beating up kids again?
Caspian: The law of the Author says that we must beat them. What are you doing?
Aslan: Writing in the dirt.
Aslan: I've always yelled, "MONEY CHANGERS!" and found it worked wonders.
Jill: But they aren't money changers.
Aslan: Look, unless you have a fig tree in need of rebuking I can't actually help that much.
Jill: So...
Aslan: Just don't think about why the author gave you a whip.
*pause*
Jill: Too late; I thought about it.
Aslan: I told you not t-- Ok, what if we just...
Eustace: Aslan?
Aslan: I'm sorry, I just... Why are we beating up kids again?
Caspian: The law of the Author says that we must beat them. What are you doing?
Aslan: Writing in the dirt.
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Nice.
ReplyDelete(Sorry, tired. Just got back from a very nice party.)