The serpent never stopped being clever (or: What, you thought only Noah made an ark?)

[Originally posted at Slacktivist.]
[Not actually related to the post about Nephilim building an ark, except that a non-noah ark is involved as is the concept of angel descendants.]

"Hey."

Caleb looked around trying to find a source of the word other than the bright green python hanging on a branch.

"Yo, it really is me talking," the snake said.

"I really am going insane," Caleb responded.

"That's between you and your brain, but I am trying to have a conversation with you," the snake said. "So could you work out your issues another time?"

"What do you want, obvious delusion?" Caleb asked.

"Your ancestors were way more polite," the snake said. "Anyway, you seem to be the last of the Nephilim-spawn around, so I'm hoping you'll help me out on this project I've been working on for an age or two."

Caleb didn't understand, and gave voice to his lack of comprehension: "What?"

"I figure that being the last of your kind is kind of lonely, so I thought that maybe you'd be willing to take some risks on the off chance it might recover more of your kind and thus be less lonely."

"Uh... there are a lot of people on earth."

"Yes, but you're the only one left with angel blood."

"With what?"

"A long time ago one of your human ancestors fucked an angel, that being your non-human ancestor, now pay attention."

"What the hell are you--"

"I will never understand how you lot can descend from Eve," the serpent said. "Now there was someone who could hold a decent conversation."

"Eve as in, 'Adam and'," Caleb asked.

"Please," the snake said dismissively, "it was always Lilith and Eve. Adam was a glorified sperm donor."

"I really am quite insane."

"Like I said: you and your brain. Anyway, as you no doubt know, early quantum state phenomenon in the form of Noah's ark preserved all life on earth that couldn't survive in brackish water."

"Sure," Caleb said flatly, "everyone knows that."

"What you might not have known is that your ancestors made their own ark, which god then smashed, but they survived by holding onto the splintered wood for the duration of the flood."

"I'm just going to resign myself to being insane, and thus agree with what you say."

"Whatever works. My research indicates that the other occupants of the lost ark, including a large number of Nephilim-spawn spawn like you, are still locked in a quasi-superpositionesque state and that a side effect of that is that they've been distinct from normal space-time and thus have failed to age."

"That doesn't make any sense but I'll pretend it does since I'm assuming I'm in the middle of a psychotic break anyway."

"Glad you've made peace with your issues," the snake said. "Now then, because they feared God, who was, after all, trying to exterminate them, your ancestors made it so that only a Nephilim-spawn could open the ark's cargo bay. That means you."

"Ok."

"I think I've got a pretty good handle on where the largest piece of the ark is, so I just need you to come with me and open it."

"Whatever. Sure."

And so one of the most important journey's in history began.

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