Here’s the premise for a TV show: It’s all true. Everything Pat Robertson says is true. Everything that’s posted on Charismanews is true. All of it. All the writers need to do is conform the fictional reality of the show to the wild reality described every day by Robertson, et. al.
[If you'd like to read my piece in the context of the thread, go here, otherwise read on.]
-
Rookie: Werewolves?
Veteran: Not in these parts. There hasn't been a wolf, wer- or otherwise, in these parts in over a hundred years. This in spite of attempts to reintroduce both.
Rookie: Reintroduce werewolves?
Veteran: Werewolves are an important part of the ecosystem. Plus, they only ever target Christians.
Rookie: God --taken in vain of course because we government stooges do not, in fact, believe in God-- I hate Christians. Can you believe the way that last group were persecuting demons?
Veteran: Sadly, yes: I can believe it. They refuse to have even basic decency or tolerance towards those who are not like themselves. It's not demons' fault that they can only exist on earth if they inhabit the bodies of humans.
Rookie: I mean, I'd heard rumors, of course, but I've never before actually seen such hate directed living beings just because they're a little bit different.
Veteran: Oh, they hate everyone. Muslims, Papists, Abortionists, Satanists, Atheists, demons, imps, spirits, witches, warlocks, wizards, every cult and club. It's why we have to keep such a close eye on them.
Rookie: It just seems like we could do more.
Veteran: I know, but things always get bogged down. The "84" in "Rex-84" stands for 1984, which is when the test run was made. All reports are that it was a great success but we still haven't put it into practice.
*veteran sighs*
Veteran: I'm surprised that we managed to fluoridate the water. Needless to say, I don't exactly have high hopes for Agenda 21.
Rookie: But I heard that the Bilderbergs-
Veteran: Don't get your hopes up. If there's one thing that I've learned in my time on this job it's that big solutions never work. Those of us on the ground are the ones who make a difference. One case at a time.
Rookie: So where are we going next?
Veteran: There's a preacher who said that he won't marry a gay couple, we need to catch him and persuade him to change his tune.
Rookie: It'll be easy.
Veteran: It should be, but be prepared for anything. The higher ups want it done by Sunday School next week. They want to make sure that the lesson is that mixed marriages (ones between a man and a woman) are strange and wrong and only same sex marriages are moral.
-
[Edited because I misremembered RX-84 as RX-86. But at least I remembered that people who take it seriously, instead of thinking of it as a bit of video-game back story, spell it "Rex" not "RX".]
No comments:
Post a Comment