I feel hopeless

I think it's mostly finances, which I'm sick of talking about.  Yesterday I had to try to figure out whether it was better to overdraw my account, and thus piss off the bank, or better to be late with a payment, and thus piss off the credit card company.

Cold times are coming, it's already a lot cooler, and you can't survive without heating oil.  So it wasn't a mistake to get it, but good god did it fuck up everything money-wise.  It's just not cheap.  And that has messed up everything else.

Anyway, whether it is finances, or it's just a coincidence that I feel hopeless at the same time money shit is going down, I definitely feel emotionally-not-well and that fucks up everything.  I can't think, I can't write, I can't accomplish shit.  Everything just ... stops.

Things don't happen.

I really, truly, want to be writing things for here.  I want to be doing something rather than nothing in general.  But I fail.

It's not fun.

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I have another chapter of Forgotten Seeds that's been written for a while and just needs a final proofread.  I'll see if I can get that up by tomorrow.