And I made another T-Shirt (that no one will buy): Rules for dating my child

Coleslaw pointed out a "Rules for Dating my Daughter" T-shirt.  I thought I could do better and so have attempted to here.  It's just a first attempt, if anyone wants to offer input, feel free.

With the Team Leah (let's get out of here together), Team Bella (I am a rock; I am an island), Team Alice (I know how this ends...), and Team Edward (Sparkling and Dead / is better than / Alive and Human) this makes five shirts I have for sale.

The shirt Coleslaw pointed out read thus:

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER

1. GET A JOB. 
2. UNDERSTAND I DON'T LIKE YOU.
3. I'M EVERYWHERE.
4. YOU HURT HER, I HURT YOU.
5. BE HOME 30 MINUTES EARLY.
6. GET A LAWYER.
7. IF YOU LIE TO ME I WILL FIND OUT.
8. SHE'S MY PRINCESS, NOT YOUR CONQUEST.
9. I DON'T MIND GOING BACK TO JAIL.

My version.

Rules For Dating My Daughter:

1. Treat her with diginty and respect.
2. This includes respecting her wishes.
3. This includes not pressuring her into things.
4. Don't get either of you hurt.

Rules For Dating My Son:
Ditto

I think my version is better.  I don't think you'll see people buying and wearing my version any time soon.