tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3889388775673754833.post3782752216363747304..comments2024-02-24T03:34:18.060-05:00Comments on Stealing Commas: Revised Revision of Life After: Dying Lightchris the cynichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06872875475212333027noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3889388775673754833.post-67282389220944790572016-03-12T16:35:51.188-05:002016-03-12T16:35:51.188-05:00I like the descriptions, for what that's worth...I like the descriptions, for what that's worth.DawnMnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3889388775673754833.post-4090813653996646072016-03-11T17:20:35.319-05:002016-03-11T17:20:35.319-05:00That's not exactly it. It's that I feel l...That's not exactly it. It's that I feel like when there is talking and a back and forth I'm more in my element whereas a story about a person sneaking through an interesting landscape isn't my element. And, for the moment, Kim's part is very much the second.<br /><br />She's alone in a fantastical place rather than bantering with someone.chris the cynichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06872875475212333027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3889388775673754833.post-17079827015961562552016-03-11T15:15:39.508-05:002016-03-11T15:15:39.508-05:00You say you are not satisfied with the Kim section...You say you are not satisfied with the Kim section because it doesn't have enough Kim talking. I wonder if it would help if you could change some of the third-person description into Kim-person description? Can she vocalize more about her impressions and feelings, either with her inside voice or her outside voice? Give herself some pep-talk or grousing to get her past some of the spookier stuff? <br />DawnMnoreply@blogger.com